The Alaska Stalker – November 26, 2022

Welcome to this edition of the Alaska Stalker, a lighthearted round up of the best and worst of Alaska’s social media landscape.

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If you enjoy the Alaska Stalker, please consider supporting working moms like me by sending in hot tips, overheards, and spotted ins. You can reach me at akstalker@alaskalandmine.com. As always, thanks for reading.

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Have you done your holiday shopping yet this year? Don’t fret. As usual, the Stalker has you covered with our annual gift guide for all the politicos in your life.

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At the top of every Alaska voter’s Christmas list this year? A heartfelt plea to Congresswoman Mary Peltola to never text us, EVER again. We all voted for a pro-fish, pro-family and pro-privacy candidate. Well, that goes double for our personal cell phone numbers, Mary! 🙅‍♀️

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Don’t overlook a one year membership to the OathKeepers. The ideal present for your creepy uncle in the Valley that you only see once a year, or an appreciation gift to Buzz Kelley for a truly breakout political year. At only $100 a pop, you might consider purchasing a membership for a political rival – you know, just in case Eastman loses the lawsuit.

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Perfect for Cheechakos considering a run for office: a calendar from 2019! Give potential candidates a chance to remember when they actually moved to Alaska — or at least the chance to get their story straight. 📅

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Do you have an outdoorsy gal in your life who loves fashion, sustainable fabrics and pandering to the woke mob? Get her a Salmon Sister’s hoodie dress! Designed by a women-owned company in Montana and 100% not a kuspuk (until an angry troll army forced the Salmon Sisters to apologetically pretending it is). But hey, the proceeds are now going to Yukon River villages to feed families so, why not?

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For the politician looking to REALLY up their Carhartt game this year, may I present the Carhartt bikini! Does anyone have Senator-elect Forrest Dunbar’s name for Secret Santa this year? 🙏🎅👙

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Looking for a new show to get cozy next to your sweetie with this winter? Alaska Daily has it all: shots of all your favorite Anchorage locations, Alaska Easter eggs galore, jokes at the lower 48’s expense and an entire episode dedicated to the Alaska State Fair. If your better half likes anxiety attacks and white cis villians, buy season one on Amazon today.

No promises on season two tho. Nothing says one and done like your 48-year-old lead actress having twins later this year…

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Know someone headed to Juneau this year? How about a book, written by a disgruntled former #akleg staffer, about the murder of a State Senator. The private lives of the Capitol’s occupants make them the perfect victims. OMG. On second thought, maybe don’t… 🔪😱

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Need a last minute White Elephant gift? The Patriot Freedom Tour Kelly Tshibaka light saber saber swords in red, green, pink or blue will elicit laughter, tears or both depending on your group of friends. Batteries not included. Seriously – they don’t even light up. I hear Jeff Landfield may have several hundred left in the trunk of his car he’s looking to unload. They also make a great stocking stuffer for kids* – much more durable than the carboard tubes that come in the middle of wrapping paper.

*The Landmine is not responsible for any whacks to the head, accidental or otherwise, if you give these to children.

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Some folks have had their Christmas shopping done for weeks. Just look at what a generous gift far-right House candidate Kelly Nash gave her opponent Maxine Dibert this holiday season. Now Maxine is headed to Juneau and Kelly has the Democratic Representative she deserves! 🤣

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Did I miss any must haves this year? Be sure to list them in the comments. For me, the greatest gift of all this year is who won all the legislative races. I cannot wait for January. Dunbar, Mina, Allard, Coulombe, Armstrong, Groh, Gray and ALYSE GALVIN. I have so much to be grateful for this year. Thank you for reading!

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The Alaska Stalker was born and raised in Alaska. She lives in South Anchorage with her husband and three young children. She is not Jeff Landfield.

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