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Stop Pebble Now

The Alaska Stalker – June 13, 2018

Welcome to this week’s edition of The Alaska Stalker, a semi-regular lighthearted round up of the best and worst of Alaska’s social media landscape.

 

Buckle up folks, it’s a long one.

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After many sad and reindeer free months, equilibrium has finally been restored to Downtown Anchorage. Hi 7 of Star! I wonder if he’ll endorse Zack or Elias?

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This article looks familiar… Maybe it’s because the Alaska Landmine broke it almost three weeks ago.

(Spoiler: We did not receive any credit.)

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ASEA

Nat even used the same photos of the most epic meme I have seen so far this election season. Sounds like someone already has one foot out the door. Bye Felicia! Person Tipping Hand on Apple iOS 11.3 Nail Polish on Apple iOS 11.3

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I have questions. A lot of questions. Can a local Juneauite please tell me the “that time candidate for house Chris Dimond (yes, THAT Dimond) blew up the ball park” story?  Besides that, Erika seems… nice.

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Looks like Representative Tarr forgot where she lives again. Geran, it’s AK not CA.

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Is it the year of the guerrilla signs? We’ve seen several around town this year and, unsurprisingly, they are all pro PFD and anti Governor Walker/the Legislature “stealing it.” One even specifically targets Representative Chris Tuck. If you see any, snap a pic and send it our way!

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Edie Grundwald is running for the number two position: Lt. Governor of Alaska. Her team must be pooped after decorating a porta john for the Alaska Run for Women. Solid job ladies. Usually those things look like a dump. We’re on a roll! They should have volunteered to decorate Kim Jong Un’s portable summit toilet.

Pile of Poo on Apple iOS 11.3Pile of Poo on Apple iOS 11.3Pile of Poo on Apple iOS 11.3

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Check out this video from candidate for house Liz Snyder. Scroll to 0:49 for the saddest montage of people having fun we’ve ever seen. Is that the soundtrack to Schindler’s List? Good grief. Literally.

Also, Easter egg time: is 0:20 actual footage of AssemblyMAN Forrest Dunbar mansplaining how hard it is to find quality “women of caliber” like Liz and Ivy Spohnholz to run for office?

Snyder 2018 Campaign Kick-Off

Why am I running? Alaska has been good to me, and I want to be good for Alaska.Will you join us? electlizsnyder.com

Posted by Liz Snyder for State House on Monday, June 11, 2018

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The PC Police can breath a collective sigh of relief over the above Forrest Dunbar debacle thanks to former mayoral candidate Rebecca Logan. Rebecca climbed down from her ivory tower last night to go scorched earth on one third of the Anchorage Assembly. Someone first sent me this comment, which was deleted pretty quickly.

 

Yikes. Everyone knows it’s Dumbar. One b. Rebecca, as my elementary teacher would say, K.I.S.S. Keep It Simple, Stupi…. oh. wait. Grimacing Face on Apple iOS 11.3 Then she went after her current favorite punching bag, Assemblyperson Constant, as well as local small business owner Assemblyman Weddleton.

The Stalker thinks she may have a point – Weddleton is probably pretty vulnerable. Problem is, it was lost in her messaging. All thanks to #forrestdumbbar. And then Assemblyman Weddleton clapped back…

Our advice: Yeah the deal might have some problems (see our thoughts in last week’s column) but being against bringing 150+ cops to downtown Anchorage probably isn’t the best hill to die on right now. Focus on the MLP deal instead. And probably don’t call people names on social media.

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Ahhhh a sign for sore eyes… While I’m open to alternatives, pretty sure candidate for Senate Chris Birch has the best signs of all time.

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AES

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Alaska’s sure going to miss you Bob. Check out this tender radio DJ bromance <3

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Same.

We’re watching the West Anchorage Assembly election closely. So far we’re pretty excited about Sam Moore’s campaign. Love the humor. And who could forget Sam brought Uber back to Alaska.  Bottoms up Sam! Or not. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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In an effort to steal as many of Senator Kelly’s votes as possible, Representative Scott Kawasaki has become “pro border wall.” Face With Tears of Joy on Apple iOS 11.3

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Candidate for Governor, Mead Treadwell would like to connect with you on LinkedIn. Don’t forget to congratulate him on his new temp position!

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Meme of the week:

Sometimes the meme of the week is a failure. It’s technically not the wrong usage of a Scumbag Steve spin-off. It’s just not great. I would think the Dunleavy PAC could afford a higher quality memeologist.

This is how it’s done. Although I don’t know what made me laugh more: the meme itself or picturing Mark Begich willingly hanging out with candidate for house and veteran of The Great Meme War, Forrest McDonald.

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Stand for Alaska is looking for volunteers to man their booth at Anchorage PrideFest this weekend. Pretty sure this is a perfect volunteer opportunity for Landmine editor-in-chief Jeff Landfield. Even better would be the Equality Parade! Jeff can dust off his favorite article of clothing and prance down the streets of downtown Anchorage. Will someone make him a “Bears stand for Alaska” sign ASAP?

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Door to door report:

Representative Matt Claman employing the tried and true “baby holding for photo ops” technique. Awwwwww!

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Pro Tip: Less time “liking” more time “knocking.” #ticktock

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Overheard in Anchorage:

“Representative Kevin Meyer looks like Odo from Deep Space 9.”

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Stop Pebble Now

They’re not wrong. We really wanted to make a “they both have gelatinous liquid in common” joke here, but our editor has never seen Star Trek and didn’t get it.

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Overheard at the Alliance Golf Tournament:

“I need you to Tonya Harding those ****** *******” (regarding the team of big wigs behind them)

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Spotted at Nas:

– Candidate for house #DustinDarden chillin’ with congressional candidate Dimitri Shein in the Moose’s Tooth Parking Lot

– Reporters and married couple Rebecca Palsha and Kyle Hopkins

– And, if you grew up here, every single person you ever went to high school with

For those of you who don’t know who Nas is, you’re in good company:

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That will do it for us this week folks. Don’t forget to send your favorite social media and online goofs, gaffs, memes, dust-ups, “Overheard in Alaska” and “Only in Alaska” moments, or whatever else you got to akstalker@alaskalandmine.com Our DMs are always open. Remember: pics or it didn’t happen!

Enjoy this article? Please consider making a donation to the Alaska Landmine. The Landmine is made possible by a team of awesome Alaskans who work long hours with no salaries on a shoestring budget. Your donations make articles like this possible. Thank you for reading!

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