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The Alaska Stalker – July 25, 2019

Welcome to this week’s edition of the Alaska Stalker, a lighthearted roundup of the best and worst of Alaska’s social media landscape and political gossip.

If you enjoy the Alaska Stalker, please consider supporting working moms like me by sending in hot tips, overheards, and spotted ins. You can reach me at akstalker@alaskalandmine.com. As always, thanks for reading.

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Murkowski vs. Megalodon? Our money’s on Lisa.

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Wow! I didn’t know Sen. Rand Paul followed #akleg. Guttersnipe is the new Deplorable.

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Gov. Michael J. Dunleavy is still standing tall, now in the form of a shame pole. Yikes! Apparently shame poles are quite rare.

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While Gov. Dunleavy might not be having the best week seven months, First Lady Rose Dunleavy had a great time in Fairbanks speaking at the World Eskimo-Indian Olympics. We noticed her Facebook page could use a few more likes – click here to follow Rose.

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U.S. Senate candidate, Dr. Al Gross, is kicking off his Alaska tour in a fancy Airstream. Wait, isn’t the Airstream Factory in Ohio? Is this another Ohio transplant?

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What is it about those Independent candidates and their personally branded RVs? We look forward to receiving many spotted ins of Congressional Candidate Alyse Galvin as she drives what I’ve affectionately dubbed the “Alyse Avenger.” It’s not an Airstream, but it gets her where she’s going.

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Thanks for sharing Lt. Governor Meyer. Alaska sure does look beautiful this time of year. 😉

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The ARWC posted how “people” are pooping while climbing Flat Top, leaving bags of poop at the top, and then students are supposed to come and collect it as part of a poop pilot program. Wait, what? OMG Y’ALL! THEY FORGOT TO CLARIFY IT IS DOG POOP, NOT HUMAN POOP, AND I AM SCREAMING!!! 💩🤣🤣🤣

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Just a friendly reminder that Senator Scott Kawasaki is exactly right. Most of our legislators don’t have jobs outside of being senators and representatives. What a great example of a citizen legislature. 😳

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Which brings us to… #peonygate. As you may know, Rep. Ben Carpenter, along with a couple other Representatives, missed an important vote this week.

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Naturally, Alaska Twitter imploded. Here’s a small sampling of the unrest. In the end, it didn’t really matter as Ben was a “no” vote regardless.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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Rep. Carpenter took #peonygate, #politicsoverpeonies, and other online attacks seriously and issued this statement on his official Rep. Facebook page. We’re not sure if a mean hashtag equates to terrorism, but it’s clear he was upset.

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The whole debacle made us long for 2015, when July was deemed “Alaska Peony Month” and not “Peonygate.” #takeusback

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Is Senator Elvi Gray-Jackson striving to be the first monomymous legislator? Love the new profile pic, Elvi!

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Down on the Kenai, lesser known musical “The Little Micciche” is set to debut in fall of 2020.

🎶”Look at this budget

Isn’t it neat

Wouldn’t you think my reelection’s complete

Wouldn’t you think I’m a Senator

A Senator that will protect your PFD”🎶

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Sen. Scott Kawasaki’s Instagram feed never disappoints. While it doesn’t look like he’s growing peonies, maybe Scott can ask for an excused absence to tend to his garden. Take a look at those custom planters. 😂

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Is Senator Lora Reinbold just terrible with names, or does she intentionally spell her colleagues’ names incorrectly? You would think with the unconventional spelling of “Lora” she’d be a bit more sensitive.

Hey Laura, it’s Senator Natasha von Imhof. Little v and one f. And her maiden name is Rasmuson. Sheesh. A life-long Alaskan misspelling Rasmuson as Rasmussen is even worse than misspelling Dimond as Diamond. 🤦

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Perhaps details aren’t Lora’s strong suit. Take a look at the phone number linked to her official Senate Facebook page. It’s a DC number! A tipster called it and got the following recorded message: “Thank you for calling the United States Capitol. To be connected to your Senator’s office, press or say 1.”

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Glad to see this photo of Clifford “the little gray dog” Spohnholz brighten up our feed this week. Hope he’s still getting “loose” even as an elderly canine.

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Rep. Sharon Jackson’s Facebook page is quickly becoming a Stalker favorite. Please take a moment to watch this epic video – don’t forget to turn on the sound. With only 135 views, I’m hoping we can give this masterpiece the views it deserves.

Posted by Sharon Jackson on Thursday, July 18, 2019

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Let’s all send healing vibes to Rep. George Rauscher who is at home in the Valley recovering from injuries. I’m sure that knee will be “rock solid” in no time.

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Staffer to Rep. Laddie Shaw, Joshua Walton, received this Google Alert in his inbox. While it wouldn’t surprise us to learn Laddie is bulletproof, we’re glad to hear he hasn’t tested that theory.

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Speaking of Laddie, check out his bold tie choice —  an homage to his passion for running marathons. 10/10! It’s been a while since we’ve covered the political fashion scene, so let’s get to it.

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Rep. Sharon Jackson is channeling her best Alaska State flag vibes with this fearless combination. You could say those pants “radiate positivity.”

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What an unbe-leaf-able display of bi-petal friendship between Senator Lisa Murkowski and her “best buds,” Senators Kyrsten Sinema and Diane Feinstein. We’re rooting for you! 🌼🌷🌻

Give it time, dear readers. My puns will *grow* on you. 😉

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What Alaskans wear hiking is a deeply personal choice. Just ask former Rep. Les Gara.

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Assemblymember Felix Rivera seems to have a hiking uniform. Take a look at these two photos taken “a couple weeks a part.” While we love his Kingdom Hearts apparel, some are asking if these photos were taken on the same day. Do we have a #hikinggate scandal on our hands?

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If Felix needs a hiking buddy he should give fellow Assemblymember Christopher Constant a call. Chris, I’m glad your body finally caught up with your head. 🤗

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🚨🚨🚨BREAKING!🚨🚨🚨

After over a year of begging and pleading, Assemblymember Forrest Dunbar has finally changed his Facebook profile pic from him laughing outside the Blockbuster with Russell Crowe’s jockstrap on display (seriously) to a normal photo. Thank you, Forrest. That beard tho.

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I owe Forrest a friendly Stalker apology. I didn’t mean to get him in trouble with his “What pho restaurant name is best” Twitter poll. I’m glad he was able to mansplain his non-offensive intentions before her post “disappeared.”

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The City of Anchorage may be in a state of “Civil Emergency” but that’s not going to stop former Mayor Dan Sullivan from trolling current Anchorage Mayor Ethan Berkowitz on Facebook.

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What’s a four letter word for insulting someone on an elevated level? BURN! 🔥🔥🔥

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If any Dems take offense to the above, just remember, Andy’s batting for your team this week.

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Looks like Kaladi Brothers is trying to dethrone Steam Dot as “the place to be seen” at the Midtown Mall. We are here for this battle royale; may the best bean win.

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Overheard at the Capitol Building: “Rep. Sarah Vance is Sheastman. We have a Neastman and a Sheastman.”

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Overheard in Juneau: “David Teal is like the 61st legislator.”

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Overheard from a right-leaning politico: “We need a new hashtag – #COSisPOS”

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Spotted in Aspen: Governor Mike Dunleavy at the Republican Governors Association retreat.

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Spotted in Meadow Lakes:

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The Alaska Stalker was born and raised in Alaska, and lives in South Anchorage with her husband, daughter, and son. She is not Jeff Landfield.

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Jackie

Double check the difference between the Rasmuson and Rasmussen family. Reinbold may have gotten the maiden name correct. Rep. Rasmuson is not related to the philanthropic family.

Jackie

I take it back. I could be wrong. Wouldn’t be the first time

Jackie

I take it back. I could be wrong. Not the first time.

Crossword Nerd

99.9% of the time, plural clues end in ‘s.’
#howyalikethemmaths
#squeezeshittomakeitfit

Nunya Bidness

We need some emoticons here, like laughing. LOL is so passé.