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TNC

The Alaska Stalker – December 11, 2020

Welcome to this edition of the Alaska Stalker, a lighthearted round up of the best and worst of Alaska’s social media landscape.

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If you enjoy the Alaska Stalker, please consider supporting working moms like me by sending in hot tips, overheards, and spotted ins. You can reach me at [email protected] As always, thanks for reading.

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I’m sorry, but I cannot stop thinking about this. People actually thought our acting mayor went shopping for electronics at Fred Meyer, with an active case of Covid-19 and a POLICE ESCORT!!! 🤣🤣🤣 I know Save Anchorage can be a little extra sometimes, but this is way over the top. There is nothing the Stalker loves more than some juicy gossip (send tips to [email protected]!). It just has to have a kernel of truth to it. No way is Austin this dumb. Or inconsiderate.

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Thank goodness for the Landmine! We shot down the baseless rumor immediately. You’re welcome, MJ. The Alaska Landmine may have a column called the Alaska Stalker, but we don’t actually stalk or take photos of random women!

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Just when you think things couldn’t get more bizarre, serendipity strikes. While folks are actively searching for a mayor lookalike (yes, this Craiglist ad is real) Save Anchorageites find one so authentic they accuse her of being the actual mayor. You can’t make this stuff up. Someone needs to offer this gal the job ASAP. Looks like an easy $250 to me!

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Check out Nat throwing some SHADE at the Alaska Senate Majority. Rant ✅ tag ✅ akleg hashtag ✅ DAMN. 🔥🔥🔥

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Not sure what’s going on, but even the old faithfuls are on edge these days. Never thought I’d see Rep. Ben Carpenter encouraging people to sign the Recall Dunleavy petition. Those roads must be real bad. Peony delivery is at a standstill.

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Rep. elect Tom McKay is getting an online crash course in what it’s like to be in the minority. That “Rhino wins” comment tho. Yup. Pretty much how it’s going to go now that Ballot Measure 2 has passed. 🤡

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Any “plant enthusiasts” want to rent Rep. elect Dr. Liz Snyder’s house during session? 🌿🥦🌲😵 Pete? Chris? Pretty sure Liz forgot to include an important detail about her neighborhood. Yikes!

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I Think I May Know The Legend In Her Own Mind Who Is Running Roger Holland’s Social Media Accounts. Stay tuned for her creative punctuation and facts throughout the next session! 🌹

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Not sure how well a goat would go over in the Capitol building. Perhaps Rep. Rasmussen can secure a service animal certificate so the critter can sit in on confirmation hearings like Jago! Sorry, Sara, I know your husband and I think this miiight be a long shot.

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OMG!!! Ask and ye shall receive. Leave it to the GOAT to deliver a goat to one of his leggie besties.🐐 I heard Laddie even paraglided the little guy down for her. 🙃

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Former Rep. Eric Croft officially dropped his bid for Anchorage mayor. The announcement was pretty normal as these things go. One sentence caught my eye: “There are five reasonable, forward-thinking candidates running for Mayor.” Counts Democratic candidates on fingers… 1: Eric 2: Bill Falsey 3: Forrest 4: George? Hmmmm wait… FIVE?! 🤔 Does this mean conservative former Assemblymember Bill Evans made Eric’s nice list?

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Apparently so.

Bill right now: 💁‍♂️

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Gotta love it when Alaska Twitter tries to drag a moderate conservative and *checks notes* Christopher Constant comes to their defense. LOL!

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While Zoom fundraisers are getting a bit stale, I have to give this one to Bill Falsey. I would get a kick out of seeing some of my old teachers and friends from Service (before there was a South, natch) come out to support up and coming candidates, or one of their own.

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Mayoral candidate Dave Bronson also had a great idea. While it’s not directly raising money for his campaign, he is going the extra mile to support local small businesses (and maybe raise some name awareness while he’s at it). Full disclosure: I’m still working on my bingo. But, I’m close! Forrest isn’t the only one who needs new appliances.

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Recall Allard

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Hi, my name is Forrest Dunbar and I’m running for mayor. I don’t go to the Bush Company, and I definitely don’t play video games or listen to Cardi B. I am a serious adult man who wants your vote. I’m just not married and don’t have kids. K thanx, byeee.

Sorry Forrest, I’m not buying it. You doth protest too much. Like, what else are you doing as a single guy stuck at home during a pandemic? There are only so many podcasts.

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Assemblymember Meg Zaletel’s recent event notice got bombarded with anti-Felix comments and laugh reactions. Folks might want to back off – she’s deleted her account for less. ❄️❄️❄️

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I do have to give it to Meg. Not every Assemblymember sends out joint holiday cards. She is standing up for her colleague and friend, and that’s not a bad thing. Merry Christmas, Meg! Stay spicy, Felix!

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As someone who lived a stone’s throw away from Jackie’s Place for 6 years, I consider myself a bit of an expert. Not gonna lie, the Curmudgeon Constant looks AMAZING! Even better than the Recall Rivera Ruben. Any guesses on which Save Anchorageite ordered the first one?

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It was Mayor Dan. Of course it was Mayor Dan.

 

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Sad to hear Bosco’s was rammed and robbed last week. While it looks like several boxes of baseball and basketball cards were taken, I’m still shocked no one thought to go for the Pokemon cards. $500,000 for a Charizard?! Not bad. Has John considered having the Muni buy and sell Pokemon cards as a way to fill the budget gap?

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Yes, Virginia. There is an Assemblyman Kameron Perez-Verdia.

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As a lifetime Alaskan, I am all too familiar with local politicians and their unofficial uniforms: broken-in Carhartt jacket, bolo tie, Xtratufs, and yes, even the ubiquitous Copper Rive fleece jacket. For the ladies, our choices are more… restrictive. In more ways than one! Former Commissioner Heidi Drygas nails it – if it doesn’t have a stretch waist, I’m not interested. 😂😂😂 This entire thread is just good fun.

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He may look like a Grinch

He might smell like one, too

That’s what dozens of trash bags from homeless camps will do.

He may be a bit gruff, or dare I say loose

Why’d he leave the editorial board? I think we can deduce.

But his heart isn’t small

No, it isn’t, at all.

Let us give thanks to Andy who did in a day

what local governments should have since April or May

❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚

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I believe. 👽

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DOC

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Spotted on Facebook: Round 3?

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Spotted on solo evening walks on a popular Anchorage trail: Former Mayor Ethan Berkowitz. Sigh…

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State employee who has been around awhile: “I really want to get rid of one thing in the state.”

“What’s that?”

State employee: “Anything. Just one thing. Nothing ever goes away.”

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Overheard in Anchorage: “Lance Pruitt, he can sue it, for his future!”

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Overheard via text: “I just spent 11 hours working in a bathrobe. It’s pre-session quarantine at it’s finest.”

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Sent via Stalker Mail: “When ConocoPhillips needs a quickie, they call Micciche!”

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Sent via Stalker Mail: Our first ever personal ad!

35 y/o politically active guy seeking active woman for binge TV and Wild Scoops. Looking for someone to hangout with over the holidays, go see the Captain Cook gingerbread village with, and see what happens.

Ladies, PM me for more details! 😍

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The Alaska Stalker was born and raised in Alaska. She lives amongst the bears in South Anchorage with her husband, daughter, son, newborn, and Covid-19 antibodies. She is not Jeff Landfield.

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