The Alaska Stalker – December 10, 2022

Welcome to this edition of the Alaska Stalker, a lighthearted round up of the best and worst of Alaska’s social media landscape.

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If you enjoy the Alaska Stalker, please consider supporting working moms like me by sending in hot tips, overheards, and spotted ins. You can reach me at akstalker@alaskalandmine.com. As always, thanks for reading.

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It’s been a rough week for us Southcentral folks. ❄️❄️❄️❄️

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The snow is incredibly deep and the roads are so bad, even the plow trucks are getting stuck.

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Some people on the Hillside got over two feet in a day! Rep. Schrage’s district measured a bit short at only 21 inches.

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Assembly member Christopher Constant has some wild conspiracy theories as to where all this snow came from.

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If Sen. Robb Myers shoveled my driveway, I’d profess my undying love to him, too. Robb, come on over! 😘

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The Landmine posted this gem over the weekend and I cannot stop giggling. Is Tasha going to fire up her snow plow or what? 🤣🤣🤣

My favorite part was when Karen Natasha chimed in that Tasha didn’t even win. Yeah, girl. We know! 🙄

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You can always count on Kyle Hopkins to ask the hard hitting questions.

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Some members of our community (cough *Yarrow* cough) legit think Mayor Dave Bronson has a “do not plow list” featuring their address. LMAO!!! My neighborhood was plowed out this morning – guess I’m on the nice list. 👼

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I’m not saying I hate anyone in the Alaska State Legislature. I’m just saying after a week of endless shoveling, school and activity cancellations and stuck vehicles… Ashley “I’m just in Hawaii, living my best life with zero snow” Carrick is a contender. SO jealous. 🌴🌺🍹

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Tug! At first I thought Assembly member Kameron Perez-Verdia was going to post about how he courageously pulled some stranded motorist out of the ditch. Nope, just his sweet pup’s name. Looks like Tug has been enjoying all the snow. 🐾

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His hooman has to win her election first, but I think Tug and Paul could be best Assembly doggo friends forever. Anchorage Assembly candidate Rachel Ries found the perfect sneaky way to get more engagement on her campaign page. Be sure to post your fur baby in the comments of her post. Lots of good bois and girls featured already. 🐾❤️ Does anyone want to see my fur baby??? Wait for it…

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Isn’t he a cute little guy? 🦴😂

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REMINDER: THE MAYOR IS WORKING VERY HARD TO REMOVE ALL THE SNOW! HE IS!

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All I want for Christmas is an updated cookie video from Governor Dunleavy. Give the people what they want! 🍪

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Dan who??? 😘

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It makes my grinchy stalkery heart grow three sizes to know Harriet and Elstun snuggle up together and watch “Love Actually” on repeat during the holiday season. #couplegoals Harriet, save a seat for me on the couch for your next viewing!

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A new legislature will begin in January. The House isn’t even organized and already the new guard is taking over and making deals on Twitter. Love to see it!

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I don’t know about you, but I am confident all the newbie Gen. Y/Z legislators are up for this important job. They may be young, but they seem competent, even keeled and humble.

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👀

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🚨 Red alert! The Stalker was wrong. I always thought Alyse was one of those fake Independents who’s actually a progressive but pretends to be Independent to more easily win elections in a red state. But here she is, plain as day, going with the flow and riding the red wave. Thank you, Representative-elect Galvin for calling attention to the important exhibit “Bodies Odors Trauma Disease.” Of course Carl Jacobs would like this post.

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Wait, is Rep. Kevin McCabe arguing “hookers” should be a new state revenue stream to help solve Alaska’s fiscal crisis?

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Totally not related or anything, but I think Rep. Andi Story might want to rethink her Twitter handle: Andi Story for Ho, number 1.

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While some positions are still open, folks are hiring staff and making plans to move to the Capitol for session. Senator-elect Forrest Dunbar treated everyone to this cutesy post announcing his newly hired legislative staff.

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I’m confused. I thought Alliana was just hired to work for Dunbar. But, apparently, Gov. Dunleavy appointed her Commissioner Lesbian. Wow. Congratulations, Alliana (Taylor’s Version).

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Meat obsessed Senator-elect James Kaufman decided to highlight rising inflation with a photo of… raw mullet gizzards? 🤢 He’s totally normal. P.S. does anyone really know this guy’s backstory?

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Speaking of mullets, is Governor Dunleavy giving us a sign at what’s to come in his next four years? Business in the front, party in the back and a bunch of bad cuts. Seems very likely. I’m low-key shook Dunleavy didn’t try to pull some strings for his favorite internet hype man, Todd Smoldon, to win the title of best mullet in America.

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Sen. Shower is correct – there is definitely a good lesson or two to be had here. 1: not everything you see on the internet is true and 2: if it’s too good to be true, it’s probably not. This video is dangerous fake news misinformation, and I am appalled a State Senator is sharing it on his official page like it’s REAL. I will be reporting this post immediately and I implore all my readers to do the same. Do better, Senator!

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Ru-Roh. Someone needs to contact Google ASAP and let them know their search results are not just offensive, they’re demeaning to women everywhere all across this state. Please fix your misogyny. Do better, Google.

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Someone might also want to reach out to Dr. Anne Zink. Language matters. Using gendered language to mixed gendered groups is insensitive and wrong. VERY problematic and exclusionary. It’s not too late to promote language of inclusion and layer up with your pronouns! Do better, Dr. Zink!

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While the general election is over, Anchorage will hold a municipal election this spring. Several candidates have already filed for Assembly, including West Anchorage resident Anna Brawley. Brawley conducted this poll on her Twitter last week. Can you guess what came in first and last?

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LOL what a difference a week can make! I bet all the people that voted for “better and more housing” and “next-generation economy” are also on Bronson’s top secret Do Not Plow list.

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Spotted on the cover of the most recent Alaska Legislative Budget Handbook: former Director of the Legislative Finance Division, David Teal inside a David Teal inside a David Teal. This is the sweetest tribute/local use of the Droste effect I’ve ever seen. Great cover for a great guy. Well done!

 

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Spotted in Anchorage: Senator- elect Jesse Bjorkman with two of his closest friends. 🙃 Don’t worry – I’m mainly putting this here to trigger HAC & SAC.

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Spotted at Pipers: Les Gara wearing a Dan Marino jersey.
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Overheard in Anchorage “You know how you can walk right up to a ptarmigan, hit it on the head with a rock, and eat it, and it just watches you? That’s Valley Republicans in Juneau right now.”
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Overheard in Anchorage “The one good thing about ranked choice voting is that I made sure to rank all the way down my ballot, especially in races where a #3 or #4 vote wouldn’t matter. That way, no matter what, I could yell, “I VOTED FOR YOU!!!” when anyone does anything I don’t like and it’s not even a lie.”

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The Alaska Stalker was born and raised in Alaska. She lives in South Anchorage with her husband and three young children. She is not Jeff Landfield.

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John Doe
1 month ago

Jesus Christ you have got to be the least funny person in Alaska. I’d tell you not to quit your day job but I’m betting you’re awful at that too.

Akwhitty
1 month ago
Reply to  John Doe

Thank you John Dildoe for your opinion.
Go slide up to your hiding spot, maybe Alliana Taylor’s cooch.

Jim Bob
1 month ago
Reply to  Akwhitty

No, JD is right, she’s not funny, she’s never printed anything anywhere close to being relevant, she’s just trying to be a poor imitation of the Alaska Ear.

Some Guy
1 month ago
Reply to  John Doe

You need some new material J.D. I’ve heard that joke before.

Some Guy
1 month ago
Reply to  Some Guy

On the topic of jokes, did anyone hear about 2 anonymous trolls who walked into a bar?

Mark Kelsey
1 month ago

Gee, I wonder why Rep. McCabe took down his legislative Facebook? Must be afraid of the truth getting out to the supporters he’s been gaslighting. Can’t hide forever, Kev. Truth has a way of getting out, even when childishly denied.