Humor, Satire, and Parody

Mary Peltola undecided if she will vote for herself in upcoming U.S. House election

Yesterday, Representative Mary Peltola (D – Alaska) shocked Democratic supporters when she declined to endorse presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Kamala Harris, saying she was “keeping an an open mind” about how to vote in the upcoming presidential election. Peltola stated that she shared “a lot of common ground” with both Harris and Trump, and said she would decide who to vote for based on the candidate’s energy policies.

Today, Peltola added to the confusion by declaring that she had not decided who to vote for in her own upcoming election. In an early-morning press conference, Peltola told a group of confused reporters that she had decided to “keep a super open mind” about her own race. “Look,” she said, “I know people expect me to vote for myself. Because, you know, I’m me. But when I look at the candidates — myself, Nick Begich, and Nancy Dahlstrom — I see a lot of good ideas. And I’m gonna need to know all of the candidates’ policies before I decide how to cast my vote.”

“Look,” she continued in response to the awkward silence from reporters, “there’s a lot of nuance here. I’m not going to endorse anyone in this race. Not myself, and not my opponents. Alaskans can make up their own minds. We’re all just human beings. And speaking as a human, I really just don’t know who I’m going to vote for at this time. That’s all.”

“It’s not about political parties though,” she said. “I think we need to stay away from partisanship. Like maybe not mention political parties at all until the race is over.”

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Miss Chief
6 months ago

She is trying to walk the tightrope but instead is walking the plank. Mary’s a pretty little liar.