Ask a cat is an advice column featured in the Alaska Landmine. Have a question for the Cat? Email askacat@alaskalandmine.com or click here to submit via a form (anonymous) to get the answers to any of life’s problems.

Dear Cat,

I’m a single mom. I take care of my two kids the majority of the time. Their Dad sort of just acts like an occasional babysitter, so I can’t really rely on him. That aside, what should I do about the guilt I feel over not being able to go to every and all activity that my kids participate in? The other day my son asked me why I wasn’t at soccer practice, and honestly it was because I had worked an overnight shift the day before and when the neighbor said she could drop him off, I took the opportunity to take a nap. I always try to go to the games and if either of my kids has a band performance, etc. I do what I can to be there. Am I not prioritizing my kids enough?

Dear Human,

Cat thinks you’re prioritizing your kids plenty. Frankly, Cat thinks your child sounds a little whiny, but human children are certainly not my forte. Taking a nap after working a night shift (which you do to provide for your children) while they are responsibly carted off to practice by a neighbor is purrfectly reasonable. You cannot pour from an empty kibble bowl. It sounds as though your guilt stems from their other parent. As this person seems to only be present as an unreliable babysitter, maybe you are feeling you need to overcompensate for what they lack. The reality is that a well-rested parent that practices self-care is what your children need. Although they may not fully comprehend your needing to nap instead of attend 100% of their activities, it sounds as though their safety and basic physical and emotional needs are being met. Cat thinks that someday they will respect and hopefully emulate not only your hard work and dedication, but also your sense of self preservation.

Dear Cat,

I’ve been chatting with a guy off Bumble for the last week and a half. I think we should have met IRL sooner but we both have kids, and it’s been hard to coordinate. The thing is, he’s nice and funny and always texts me in a timely manner, but I’m not super attracted to his pictures. I still plan on meeting up with him next weekend, but if I’m not super attracted to him physically, I wonder if I should bother?

Dear Human,

Since you asked, Cat advises you to still meet up with this fellow. While Cat doesn’t inherently think dating apps are terrible, I do think they are only a starting point. If you enjoy communicating with this guy (which presumably you do, if you have been at it for this long,) there is likely something worth exploring. As we know, physical attraction is important, but not the most important aspect of a relationship. Often when the times get tough, humor and kindness are far more sustaining between two people than physical attraction. You may find that you just haven’t had the opportunity to feel the spark yet – meeting in person could ignite something that wasn’t easy to establish via text. If it feels safe to do so, and both of you have already carved out time in your busy schedules, give the meeting a chance. The only thing you have to lose is a little time, and you may even find yourself having gained a lot. If it doesn’t work out, at least you can say you were open-minded and tried.

Dear Cat,

Does kitty also think that the residents of Girdwood should have just let a grossly over developed neighborhood be built in their beautiful small town? How would Cat feel if a pack of overly enthusiastic border collies built a bunch of doghouses next to your litter box?

Dear Human,

Oooh big sigh.

Cat knew they were going to get a few letters from the entitled woodland creatures of Girdwood. And here we are.

Cat generally doesn’t care to comment on political happenings, Cat prefers to be rational and logical. However, Cat certainly has their own opinions. From a survey of Girdwoodian Cats, I understand there is a distinct lack of reasonable cat trees and sunspots in that area. If housing can’t be built to your very fussy specifications, Cat supposes you will have to make do with nothing at all. Cut off your claws despite your paws.

Since you asked, Cat thinks you are being elitist and your obdurate disposition will only contribute to lack of housing in the future. Cat even suspects they would enjoy the company of forward-thinking border collies to your own.

Cat Contemplations

Tolstoy says “Spring is the time of plans and projects.” Apparently, Leo didn’t live in Girdwood, AK. Cat encourages all to get out and enjoy their own (and heck, their neighbor’s) back yards as the birds return as the snow melts. 🐾