Advertisement. For information about purchasing ads, please click here.

We Build Alaska

Ask a Cat: Dangerous dating, bad friends, and a voting dilemma

Desperate for advice? For the answers to all of your burning questions, e-mail askacat@alaskalandmine.com or send a message anonymously here.

Dear Cat,

Is there an expiration date on not dating your ex’s friends?

Dear Human,

The idea that this is a hard and fast written rule in the first place is open to interpretation. Cat believes this is entirely dependent on the relationship that remains with your ex, how things ended, how serious the relationship was, and how much you value someone else’s approval (besides mine, you should always seek Cat’s approval.)

The fact that you’re asking indicates to me that purrhaps there are hard feelings or not enough time has passed between your relationship with ex and your new interest in friend. You might want to ask yourself, do you actually want to start a relationship with friend? Or is there just an element of intrigue that comes with dating someone that is verboten? Would you feel comfortable asking your ex for their blessing? If they said no, would you do it anyway and risk friend being eschewed from their social circle?

Truly, it’s not inconceivable that you would fall for your ex’s friend; presumably as friends they share hobbies and qualities that at one point you found attractive. The maturity level of all involved parties also plays a big role in how this could potentially play out. It is worth noting that Cat doesn’t always shy away from causing chaos for the sake of chaos, but depending on how reckless you’re feeling you might want to tread lightly. I recommend going out of your way to create extra boundaries and communication when it comes to this potentially messy situation. 

 

Dear Cat,

I’m a massage therapist, my friend of 16+ years has also been a patient for the last five. Today she texted me to reschedule an appointment then decided to berate me for the fact that I don’t work full time. I also have a small child and split childcare duties with my partner, but this friend decided to give me a lecture on how insane it is that I can’t accommodate her on certain days and how ridiculous it is that I won’t see her on my non-work day.

She took it a step further and asked me to give back a gift certificate she gave me a few weeks ago because she wants to keep it for herself. When I told her she was basically acting crazy she told me to calm down, and now she is insistent she wants to book an appointment with me again. I am so confused as to how she thinks this is ok and how I am supposed to proceed

Dear Human,

Let me first say: Hisssss! Your friend is a jerk. 

I digress, I will do my best to dole out the sage advice you seek. Navigating this situation requires both a firm paw and clarity. Cat firmly believes your friend isn’t behaving like a friend and has disrespected you both professionally and purr-sonally.

For your professional integrity, it’s important to clearly communicate that you do not owe her an explanation of your operating hours/availability. From the standpoint of your friendship, Cat thinks that if you feel the need to discuss it with her, say your peace and remove yourself from this dynamic. Cat sees this as a fundamental issue of your self worth.

While I can appreciate that your friend may be going through a hard time or may be struggling with a mental health issue that is stifling her ability to communicate effectively, there is still no excuse for both the rude and petty way your interaction happened.

For your professional purposes indicate that you won’t be able to reschedule her, and instead offer a few alternative practitioners that might have openings. For personal purposes, tell her that her rudeness is unacceptable and that you need to step away from the friendship. Cat suggests you tell her you’ll put the gift certificate in the mail and consider that closure from this toxic dual relationship. 

 

Dear Cat,

How am I supposed to choose between a candidate that is insane and one that doesn’t seem to have all his faculties? Who does Cat think I should vote for?

Dear Human,

Cat thinks you should vote for the candidate that mirrors your values and is the most likely to be surrounded by individuals that will carry out such policies. Lack of faculties can be remedied by a competent team. Insanity lacks reason and will likely lead to corruption.

Cat suggests voting for the candidate that will also ardently champion the dignity of your fellow humans. Purrhaps choose the candidate that is less likely to monger hate, chaos, and persistent lies. Cat implores you to vote for yourself and for the sake of younger generations and for those that lack representation.

Vote for someone that conducts themselves with kindness. Resist the urge to vote third party, as it is clearly a moot issue in 2024. After November, champion quality potential candidates and support representatives that you would like to see in leadership in 2028. Cat does not believe this election is entirely a lost cause, but there is certainly a lot to lose. 

 

Featured Feline:

Marmalade is oblivious to the chaos of the world and is instead seeking nirvana, one nap at a time.

Kibble for thought:

This week Cat says trust your instincts. It’s ok to make decisions that put your peace first. 🐾

Subscribe
Notify of

3 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
CapyBarbara
6 months ago

I love Cat. Beautifully stated on the friend issue as well as the politics. (The dating is a mess all around. Oofda.)

Actual credentialed journalist (retired)
6 months ago
Reply to  CapyBarbara

*uffda

Cat
6 months ago
Reply to  CapyBarbara

Purrrrrrr