Ask a cat is an advice column featured in the Alaska Landmine. Have a question for the Cat? Email askacat@alaskalandmine.com or click here to submit via a form (anonymous) to get the answers to any of life’s problems.

Dear Cat,

Since this is anonymous, I’m just going to be real with you. My kid’s friend is a little shit. I wouldn’t say that the friend is doing anything dangerous, but her attitude sucks and she has this smug personality that I can hardly tolerate to have in my house. Have you ever had a friend that has a friend you can’t stand? And you don’t know how your mutual friend can like both of you? I feel like I’m judging my own child for wanting to hang out with this brat. I don’t dislike this kid’s parents as much as I dislike the kid, so it’s kind of complicated as far as seeing them at school functions/mutual activities. Please Advise.

Dear Human,

Ah, well, Cat finds most human children intolerable, but I will do my best to help you navigate your offspring’s undesirable friend. You don’t mention how old your kid is, but they sound young enough that you are involved in their school activities. Cat assumes they are also young enough that you can still exert a bit of control over who they spend their time with. That being said, Cat suspects you have to pick your battles. You have already allowed your child to develop a friendship with this kid. And admittedly, they are not engaging in any dangerous behaviors. Have you also considered that perhaps your own child is kind of a shit with a smug attitude? It’s pawsible.

But, Cat digresses.

You are the adult in this scenario, if you don’t want this kid in your house, do not invite them in to your house. Feign busy-ness when your child is invited to their house. Choose different after school activities. Help your child to cultivate friendships with kids you find less annoying.

Dear Cat,

What am I supposed to do about seeing my ex’s stuff on social media? The break up was pretty much mutual, but there are definitely hard feelings involved. I think he’s probably already moved on. I know some people say to unfollow/block, but honestly, I don’t want to. We also have mutual friends in common, so I see stuff he’s tagged in anyway.

Dear Human,

It seems to me that social media is mostly inescapable. Unless you’re living under a rock or partaking in some sort of cleanse, you probably access any number of apps, likely hundreds of times a day. There are obviously the typical options for you to consider such as completely blocking, unfollowing, or muting your ex.

Cat suspects that you have already considered these options, and yet you clearly haven’t found peace about it yet. Cat suggests that the real issue here is unresolved feelings. Minimally, Cat insists that you “mute” this person if you cannot abide by unfollowing or blocking them all together. If you find yourself intentionally navigating to ex’s socials, take a paws and ask yourself why. Cat can’t change your habits, but Cat can ask you to examine your motivations. Since you’re clearly already on your phone, open your Notes app and create yourself a “reasons why” list. Did you stalk his Instagram? Write down why. Now give that feeling some space to process. If you can’t suppress it you may as well feel it and accept it. Know your own feelings a little better, and you may find that you don’t desire to spend so much time creeping on your ex.

Dear Cat,

I started dating a guy this winter, now that it’s spring, all he wants to do is go camping. It kind of sounds like he thinks we’ll be spending every weekend sleeping on the ground out in the cold… I didn’t sign up for this. He went for the holiday weekend to camp with his friends but he really seemed to have his feelings hurt that I didn’t want to go with. How am I supposed to get out of this in the weeks and months to come?

Dear Human,

It might be time to cut this guy loose into the forest. If he returns to you in the fall, maybe it was meant to be.

Sigh.

Cat will never understand the allure of being intentionally uncomfortable, captive in the woods, and away from a familiar litter box. Alas, some humans get their jollies by forgoing hygiene and sleeping in the dirt.

If Cat is attempting to be diplomatic, then I suggest that after your guy returns from his weekend camping adventure, you have an intentional discussion about how you two see the summer going. If you’re at all inclined to compromise, maybe you can partake in a day trip and then head home at night. Or purrhaps you two can just plan to spend more quality time together during the week. Being in a partnership means that two consenting adults get to decide how their relationship works and looks, even if that changes by the season.

Catemplations:

Cat has been predominately unimpressed by the vernal offerings of the great outdoors this year. I can hardly enjoy time in my catio without freezing my beans off. Purrhaps by this time next week I  will be greeted by sunshine in my fur and a warm breeze in my whiskers. A Cat can dream. 🐾