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The Alaska Stalker – September 18, 2021

Welcome to this edition of the Alaska Stalker, a lighthearted round up of the best and worst of Alaska’s social media landscape.

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If you enjoy the Alaska Stalker, please consider supporting working moms like me by sending in hot tips, overheards, and spotted ins. You can reach me at [email protected] As always, thanks for reading.

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A sad update from one of the greats. Hobo Jim is Alaska. Thank you for the music, the stories, and for loving our state.

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And now on to politics… It was bound to happen. After three special sessions someone finally lost it. It’s with a heavy heart I report Sen. Mia Costello has lost her marbles. literally.

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Thankfully the dads of the legislature came through with some big dad joke energy to lighten the mood. I have to give Sen. Micciche credit for posting something that didn’t make me feel uncomfortable the way his Calvin Coolidge sex chickens bit did. However, someone should warn him this joke could be taken as slightly “anti-mask.” 🙃

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Is Rep. Kevin McCabe capable of making anything non-political? It’s exhausting. Naturally Sen. Robb the King of Dad Jokes Myers showed Kevin’s post some appreciation with a “like.”

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Never forget, Robb is the 👑. 🤣🤣🤣

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Sen. David Wilson took a sweeter approach to self-care after a hard week at work. David, do you have a recipe book yet?

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Sen. Bill Wielechowski had a few and went hard at the Alaska State Fair. Four first prize ribbons and Division Champion? Congrats, Bill!


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Yes, this is a screen cap of Rep. Steve Thompson admitting that, while he can’t do basic math, he’s pretty normal when it comes to life experiences. Rep. Grier Hopkins on the other hand is a certified delinquent. This post made my week!

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Time for another addition of guess the legislator! Can you tell who this young whippersnapper is?

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Giving blood is awesome! Even though he tried to make it weirdly political, we should all thank Rep. McCarty and think about making our own appointment. Seriously, give blood. It saves lives! 🩸

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Did you see Rep. Sara Hannan’s apology for her positive comments about Nazi medical experiments? I guess after four comments she was done with the self-reflection and limited the comments section. I didn’t even know you could do that!

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Just keep moving? Try moving from side to side? Looks like Rep. Rasmussen’s been studying those redistricting maps. 🧐🏠


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I have a feeling someone else might be peeking at those same maps…

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Candidates have been filing for office, press releases are starting to fly, and campaign signs are popping up. But… It’s felt a little slow. That all changed this week. You want to know how I know we’re in full-on election season again? They’re turning against Alaska’s sweetheart, Chief Medical Officer Dr. Zink, to bash Dunleavy and promote his opponents. If I were Anne Zink I’d say screw those dudes and run for governor. You all know she’d probably win. That name ID tho… 📈

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I only follow Sen. Lisa Murkowski on Instagram. Highly recommend. Her posts are lighthearted, mostly scenery (and Verne!), and she even squeezes in some local fashion. Check out Lisa’s new campaign boots. Local. Waterproof. Yellow. Hey, Lisa, I know a certain blazer that would go great with those. 💛

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Kelly Tshibaka also has some new campaign boots. While I hear it’s now acceptable to wear white after Labor Day, I’m not sure these are vibing with Chewie’s whole born and raised Alaska tough image.

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Speaking of Kelly, a loyal Stalker reader wrote to me with bated breath about Kelly’s latest campaign fundraiser. “Holy cow! For the price of this year’s PFD, you can get your own “Team Kelly” membership card! Which apparently… Lets you listen in to Zooms with campaign staff.” 🤭

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Did you hear the news?🗞️📺

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I’m not sure if they are accepting auditions for the show via Twitter, but that didn’t stop Anchorage Assemblymember Forrest Dunbar from submitting the performance of a lifetime. Check out his rant against the ADN. He ends it with FULL CAPS, natch.

Bravo! What a performance. I can envision Forrest and Hillary Swank’s first scene clearly:

4th Avenue, by the “Balto” statue. 

Swank: My editor told me I needed to meet with you to try to understand this place.

Dunbar: Takes a long swig from a Kaladi Brother’s coffee.

Dunbar: I may not have been born here, but I’ve lived here my whole life. I’m still trying to figure it out. If I knew what the people wanted, I’d be mayor right now.

Swank: They say you’re going to be a congressman some day. 


Forrest throws his head back to laugh, trying to hide the tears in his eyes. Alaska boys don’t cry. 

Forrest: We’ll see. We’ll see. In Alaska politics anything is possible. We’ve survived earthquakes, Exxon Valdez, Sarah Palin, and even VECO. Now we just need to survive the darkest chapter in our history: me not winning mayor. 


Swank: What’s VECO?


Dunbar removes his weathered Carhartt jacket and hands it to Swank.

Dunbar “You going to need this.”
Scene.

 

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I’m glad my Assemblymember John Weddleton hates meetings. He seems like a great fit for the job.

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Jamie, call me!

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On second thought, not sure I want to party with a tattletale. Don’t dare have any fun on your trip or Jamie will tell 96.9 The Eagle all about it! 😂😂😂

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I’m utterly disappointed “it rained on the day Dave Bronson filed to run for mayor” didn’t make the Fast Five. That being said, what grown up would admit to wanting spaghetti as a last meal? Is this guy for real?

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Recall Allard

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LEGENDARY.

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I gave Kelly every opportunity to incorporate “teach a Lessen” into her campaign. Alas, she never took me up on it. This is why I cannot support her going forward. I urge someone to run against her with the tagline “Let’s teach Kelly Lessens a lesson!” Together we can make this happen!

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👀

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Spotted at South Anchorage High School: I have questions… Seems very sanitary. Maybe someone should mask that hoof just in case.

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Overheard in Anchorage: “It’s pretty weak sauce that Asssemblymember Meg Zaletel deleted her social media and the Stalker can’t make fun of her. For someone that really likes telling other people how to live their lives she seems to be very thin skinned and resistant to any criticism.”

There, there dear reader. I hope some day Meg will be back. In the meantime, a major typo in her press release will have to do. COVID-10???

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Overheard at the Kenai Women’s Classic: Senators, Native Corp. leaders, corporate leaders, all coming together three sheets to the wind for a rendition of WAP. If ya know, ya know.

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Overheard: “I’ll say it once and I’ll say it again – there’s 49 other states. If we ruin this one there’s plenty of other places to move to and the vast majority are warmer.

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Overheard in Anchorage: “I’m surprised the Anchorage Assembly hasn’t passed an ordinance declaring Forrest Dunbar as mayor yet.”

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Overheard in Juneau: “Stedman and Bishop are so lockstep and always the same, they’re starting to look like the same person.”

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Overheard on Alaska Twitter: “I swear, I see @GavelAlaska tweet more about how #akleg is cancelled than I see anyone else tweet about actual work being done. If real jobs worked like the Alaska legislature, society would collapse tomorrow.
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Spotted at a local garage sale:


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This week’s answer to guess the legislator is Rep. Mike Cronk!

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The Alaska Stalker was born and raised in Alaska. She lives bear free in South Anchorage with her husband and three kids four and under. She is not Jeff Landfield.

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Richie Romero
1 month ago

God’s speed Hobo.