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The Alaska Stalker – October 2, 2021

Welcome to this edition of the Alaska Stalker, a lighthearted round up of the best and worst of Alaska’s social media landscape.

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If you enjoy the Alaska Stalker, please consider supporting working moms like me by sending in hot tips, overheards, and spotted ins. You can reach me at [email protected] As always, thanks for reading.

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Happy fall y’all! Who would have thought Congressman Don Young was a basic B? Scarves, sweaters, and a PSL… Don, are you sporting leggings and Uggs with your suit coat?!!!

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It was a surprisingly slow week on the interwebs. Seems like everyone is either on vacation, or exhausted from watching the Anchorage Assembly proposed mask ordinance meetings. Until things pick up, here’s former Gov. Sarah Palin posting stale pandemic boomer memes. A populist indeed.

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If you haven’t heard, Sen. Scott Kawasaki tested positive for COVID. 😱 Don’t worry. He’s okay. But daaaang. Imagine being sick with COVID, not knowing how bad it’s going to get, and then having a fellow legislator low-key publicly shame you for getting sick by accusing you of being unvaccinated. Scott has been jabbed since April. He still got sick. Not, cool Rep. Wool. 👎👎👎

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Perhaps Sen. Lora Reinbold can whip up some Alaska grown potato soup to assist with Scotty’s recovery. I can’t believe her tomatoes lasted after Southcentral’s early first snow! Lora, please give us less COVID tips and more gardening tips. 🍅🥔🥦

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If Scotty is looking for some good eats closer to home, maybe he can ask Rep. Mike Cronk for some of his moose back strap with a side of guns on the counter top.

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Halloween is almost here, bring on the gore! I have to say, out of all the things I could run into on an Alaska highway, I’d take Ptarmigan over most other critters. Stay safe out there, Sen. Myers. I can’t be the only one wondering if he hopped out and took the bird home with him, right? 🍽️

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Ermine Skate

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Back to Lora. I can not get ENOUGH of her this week. Praising former Rep. Paul Seaton and making a vitamin D/Gov. D joke?! Whatever she’s doing lately, it’s almost working. Keep it up, Lora.

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Any guesses what that QR code leads to? My first guess, www.infowars.com, was incorrect.

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Maybe if you hold our PFD checks out that far they’ll look bigger, too!

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Join Rep. Calvin Schrage for a walk down memory lane to 1994. “Deficits already have next legislature in a tight spot.” Some things never change!

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🚨🚨🚨
Rep. Grier Hopkins has been officially busted by the Stalker for spreading misinformation. This is fake Poohs. It took me a moment, but I couldn’t get past the thought of A.A. Milne writing in the 1920s the phrase, “hanging out with someone who is sad.” I certainly hope Grier takes time to reflect on this terrible mistake, and going forward takes steps to prevent the growing epidemic of misinformation and fake Poohs.

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If Grier needs help ridding himself of all that fake Pooh, he might want to give Sen. Micciche’s 💩💩💩 guy, Shawn Parnell, a call. Hey Peter, want to ask Shawn if he’s available for a HUGE job in Juneau next week?

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Check it out, ladies and gentlemen – this is where the magic happens. Rep. McCabe needs four screens to keep up with all his boomer memes, passive aggressive Facebook posts, inspirational quotes and personal attacks on Zack Fields.

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I think everyone (but especially McCabe) needs to take a page out of Rep. Rasmussen’s playbook. A mere two hours a day AVERAGE???? I am too embarrassed to admit my considerably higher number. Much respect, Sara.

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AGC

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🙈🙈🙈

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CENSURE HIM!!!!

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I don’t know what’s funnier, the fact that Working Families of Alaska misspelled Rep. Liz Snyder’s name on their recent ad campaign (and still haven’t corrected it days later)…

Or that there are dozens of comments calling the ad a straight up lie. If I were Working Families of Alaska I’d use that typo as a convenient excuse to take down the train wreck of a post and forget it ever happened.

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Senator Elvi and Rep. Harriet Drummond picked a beautiful day to go scout their new district boundaries. 🙃

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Hey Harriet, the Landmine would be glad to post your op-ed in a timely fashion!


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Now THIS is an endorsement photo. 💅

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Did you hear the news? Twitter activist Will Muldoon is running a write in campaign for Juneau School Board. YASSSSS!

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It’s already entertaining. Check out an entire page of “write in Will Muldoon” letters to the editor. Or even better, this KTOO article about a rise in Juneau folks asking if they can change their vote after casting their ballot that could be “due to Will Muldoon’s late bid for school board or newfound information about other candidates.” LOL.

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While many of you sent me overheards from the recent Anchorage Assembly mask ordinance meeting (more on that later) almost a dozen of you send me this. THANKS, FOLKS. Real mature. Looking good, ladies! 💁

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Who did this?!

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Thank you to all who sent in overheads from the recent Anchorage Assembly meetings. Like many of you, I cannot look away. Here are the “best” whatever that even means. Let’s get to it…

 

Sent to the Stalker “Worst overheard unquestionably goes to the random, full volume dial tone noise repeatedly happening throughout people’s testimonies.”
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Overheard in Anchorage: “Trying to decide what to watch on tv tonight… Jags/Bengals or the Anchorage Assembly Meeting. I’m leaning Assembly.”

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Via Stalkermail “The progressives on the Assembly love to talk about how they represent unheard downtrodden minorities like Native women of color. and then the first person to speak against the mask mandate, after the Assembly made everyone wait 7 hours to speak, is a part Navajo part Eskimo and she goes full Alex Jones Info Wars. I think Chris’ head exploded.”

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Overheard in Anchorage: “As a Trekkie, the irony of all the anti-mask unvaccinated folks wearing red shirts did not escape me.”

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Overheard in Anchorage “It’s a sad day indeed when the only thing Chris Constant and Jamie Allard have in common is that they’ve both received credible death threats over the past few months.”

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Via Stalkermail: “Seeing all the anti-maskers go wild with full on Broadway jazz fingers every ten seconds is just too much.”

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Stalker Protip: when every local news outlet and even national media is covering the often bizarre and sometimes truly awful behavior of your political enemies, might I suggest just letting that happen and not joining them. 🤡🤡🤡

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The Alaska Stalker was born and raised in Alaska. She lives bear free in South Anchorage with her husband and three kids four and under. She is not Jeff Landfield.

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Eugene
1 month ago

more like the Alaska buffet stalker

Alaska Stalker
1 month ago
Reply to  Eugene

Thanks for your thoughtful comment, Eugene. I’ve had 3 babies since 2016, and am currently still nursing my youngest. So yeah, I’m not above hitting up a buffet to get those extra needed calories in. If you want to help fund my next visit please feel free to donate!

EugenesMom
1 month ago
Reply to  Eugene

Wait, there’s a buffet? Let me at it! 2 crossainwiches please!