Welcome to this edition of the Alaska Stalker, a lighthearted round up of the best and worst of Alaska’s social media landscape.

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If you enjoy the Alaska Stalker, please consider supporting working moms like me by sending in hot tips, overheards, and spotted ins. You can reach me at akstalker@alaskalandmine.com. As always, thanks for reading.

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This slow start to breakup has me driving all the way over to West Anchorage in search of green. Anna Brawley’s signs are the best I’m going to get this time of year.

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The race for seven Anchorage Assembly seats is in full swing. With mail-in ballots due April 4th, it’s down to the wire. Spencer Moore, the guy from Anchorage Baptist Temple Mountain City Church is running on the East Side. His social media has been a gold mine, like this “show me the reason you have no money” reel that then pans to a photo of the current Assembly. Or the below “get out the vote” video. Why is COX the only name in all caps? That joke pretty much writes itself. 🙈🙊🙉

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Spencer’s opponent, NoN pArTiSAn George Martinez, went into the lion’s den on the Amy Demboski Show last week. George seemed absolutely giddy to be calling in, and the discussion was surprisingly civil.

Do I think George’s going to win his race?

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Wait a minute, does Brian Flynn have three dogs?! I only recall Bode being featured on his campaign page. Who are these other two cuties? Three dogs! Must be “ruff” to schedule a sitter for vacation or all that time away door-knocking…

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Luckily, Downtown Anchorage Assembly candidate Republican John Trueblood has the answer to Brian’s needs. Check it out, Alaska Twitter, another business for y’all to boycott!

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I would have recommended Trueblood’s doggie daycare to all the candidates, but it seems Scott Myers is choosing to campaign with a fake, stock photo dog. The horror!

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Meanwhile, Scott’s opponent is over on Facebook posting whatever this is. IDK, Jim. You tell me… 😳

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Don’t forget this legend* running for his third term in Downtown.

*In his own mind 🙃

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Thanks for reading, Rachel. Love that you’re sharing my content for your campaign, but no credit or friendly Stalker shout out?! I live just a few streets away from you in your district. No door knock either?! With just a couple days to go, every vote counts! ⏳

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I know I’ve been skeptical of Zac, doubting his non-partisan credentials, but his recent Instagram post cleared a lot of things up. I showed this picture to a high level lady friend and she said, “I was voting for Zac but now I’m voting FOR ZAC.” I mean, she’s not wrong. MOVE OVER SPICY GATO! 🌶️🌶️🌶️

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I generally roll my eyes at the inevitable sign vandalism drama that seeps into every election cycle. Usually it impacts folks on both sides. This year I keep hearing about an unprecedent amount of targeted vandalism towards the non-conservative or perceived progressive leaning campaigns. Yikes.

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George Martinez even took us along for a sign vandalism tour.

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I’m glad fellow Anchorage Assembly candidates, including opponents, are speaking out against the thefts and damage.

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Woah, did someone really spray paint “CHILD PORN” on an Andy Holleman sign? Candidate Rachel Ries condemned the vandalism while revealing her own signs have also been stolen or damaged. She claims one was found torn up in her driveway. Very creepy. Other conservative candidates have shared their own stories of sign damage or theft. Either way, it seems the big signs – some candidates more than other – are a big target. While I don’t disagree that this year’s sign vandalism vibe seems different, more vicious and larger in scale than previous elections, part of me thinks this is just how we live now. This is Anchorage? 😥

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Anna Brawley came out against all sign vandalism, no matter whose signs. 💪

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However, one supporter boldly stated that if it’s a Trump sign, it should be allowed to be vandalized. Anna seemingly agreed, commenting, “Fair point.” 😮 Guess she needs to redo her post.

I oppose sign vandalism.

Period.

Except if it’s a Trump sign.

He’s indicted and orange.

Who’s with me?

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I cannot unsee this! Liked via Assembly member Felix Rivera’s official campaign account. Bonus – Rep. Andrew Gray likes the baby eating account just as much as Felix does! 😬

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First time candidate Karen Bronga has ran a solid campaign. She seems like a normal old-school liberal, and I love that she may represent the same district she graduated high school from. Only one big problem: She’s a boomer that can’t boomerang.

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I am THRILLED to bring back one of my all time favorite Stalker features: Deep Tweets by DeLena. 😂😂😂 If Deep Tweets by DeLena is new to you, you missed out on some great content over the past five years. #akleg indeed.

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I wasn’t aware that Dermot Cole had a sense of humor, but this is one of the funniest things I’ve seen all week. Planning on stealing this joke for the rest of my life.

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Warning: Never try to out-dad-joke Sen. Robb Myers. Rep. Kevin McCabe found out the hard way.

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Okay, I know Rep. Ashley Carrick is tall but could they have at least used a normal sized fireplace to sit her next to? She looks like a giant!

Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum I smell the blood of 19 freshman.

May the bill be alive or may it be dead, I’ll align those votes to get Fairbanks ahead!

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Honestly, if Sen. James Kaufman wore one of these noodle ties to the Capitol it would be more professional than any from Forrest’s collection.

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Speaking of freshman, I may have to bring on Jake the Intern to help me speak Gen Z. Wut?

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Not all heroes wear capes. ❤️🐾🐕

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Sen. Dan Sullivan edited his National Puppy Day post faster than you can say #Beaglegate. Good dog, Maddie! Dan will never let Dr. Fauci experiment on you!

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What in tarnation?!!!

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Is there an #akleg Buy Nothing Group? Because I have two of these bad boys at my house that need new homes.

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Sent to the Stalker:

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Overheard at the Capitol: Chair Ruffridge asking the Education Committee if they were ready. Rep. Himschoot replies, under her breath, “Born ready.”

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Overheard in Downtown Anchorage: “Anna Brawley’s campaign signs look like she’s running for student council secretary in 1999.” There’s a Tracy Flick “Election” joke in here somewhere, but it’s too close to deadline to make it work.

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Spotted in Anchorage: A Dave Donley for School Board sign with a photo of Dave that looks like it’s from the 90’s.

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Overheard in Juneau: “Who is Dunleavy not willing to tax for a 50/50 dividend?”

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Overheard in Juneau: “Who is taller, Rep. Ashley Carrick or Lt. Gov. Nancy Dahlstrom?”

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Overheard in Anchorage: “Why are the Facebook pages of Leigh Sloan, Travis Szanto and John Trueblood titled as for Alaska while all the other candidates in the race are “for Anchorage” or “for Anchorage Assembly?” Seems weird.”

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Sent to the Stalker:

A highly problematic screen shot that I could never use, let alone make fun of.

“Thanks, but I can’t possibly use that,” I say.

“You should publish a Stalker After Dark” then. For those are aren’t easily offended. Now that would be a banger column.”

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Spotted at Thursday Night at the Fights: Assembly would-bes Brian Flynn and Travis Szanto, with Anchorage School Board member Dave Donley judging.

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Overheard in Anchorage: “If snow berms are now called Bronsons, can we call ice dams on the road “Dun-Levies?”

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Spotted peaking out of a Bronson during breakup: a ghost from elections past

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The Alaska Stalker was born and raised in Alaska. She lives bear free in South Anchorage with her husband and three kids four and under. She is not Jeff Landfield.