Ask a cat is new advice column featured in the Alaska Landmine. Have a question for the Cat? Email askacat@alaskalandmine.com or click here to submit via a form (anonymous) to get the answers to any of life’s problems.
Dear Cat,
What do I get my situationship-not-quite-boyfriend-but-almost-boyfriend-and-could-be-by-then for Valentine’s Day, if anything at all?
Dear Human,
That made my furry little brain hurt.
I think humans love to complicate things. Let’s sift through the litter box here and figure it out. Cat suspects it boils down to human being in the early stages of what you hope turns in to a more significant relationship. As Valentine’s day approaches, Cat knows humans can get a little neurotic about what the day means. Cat encourages you to be breezy and above all, enjoy the day. Valentine’s day with a new human is (in Cat’s opinion) one of the best ways to spend the holiday. The excitement anticipation still exists, and no one is grumbling about who is going to refill the kibble bowl or take out the trash. As to what you should get for your new lover, Cat thinks this depends. Cat finds that different humans value different things. Despite what this persons love language might be (Cat won’t speculate) I suggest that novelty in any form is a good start when planning for the holiday. Go to a new place together, cook a meal neither of you has tried before, make them a playlist of songs they’ve never heard. Cat finds that those who report disappointing Valentine’s days are often those who experience predictable and not at all thoughtful gestures.
Cat wishes you good luck in your new romantic endeavor and requests updates as available.
Dear Cat,
Recently I’ve reconnected with a dear friend from the past. We picked right back up where we left off- texting all day and cracking jokes. I care about him a lot – we have a rare bond. I guess the potential problem is that years later, he has a wife and a family and I do not. I like being back in constant contact with him, but I don’t want to feel like I’m doing something sneaky. Admittedly, we have both had small crushes on each other at one point, though not currently. Cat, please advise!
Dear Human,
In the digital all-access age, Cat suspects this is a scenario many humans have experienced. Having only the details provided, Cat will have to make some assumptions in order to dole out advice. First, let’s assume that neither of you has surreptitious intent. Cat feels that even in the presence of a happy committed relationship, there will be people in human’s lives that come and go that you may be extra fond of. It is not reasonable to expect one’s life partner to fulfill every single role 100% of the time. Should you/he be hiding your contact from his partner? Of course not. Can the chatter be purely friendly and innocent? Sure. Cat thinks what Cat has stated before: the most important thing to do is be honest with yourself. Are your motives really only to flirt with old friend? Or do you genuinely just enjoy the camaraderie? Would you be comfortable in friend’s partners shoes? Would you be ashamed if friends partner read your messages? Cat advises that as your reconnect with friend, you continually check back in with yourself to monitor these questions and your feelings. In the absence of hidden agendas and, Cat forbid, an emotional affair – Cat thinks there is no reason why you and friend cannot continue your communication.
Dear Cat,
Is it just me or does Anchorage seriously suck? I remember it being a much cooler city. Am I just getting old or have we gone way downhill?
Dear Human,
As a creature with numerous lives (9, to be exact) I can empathize a bit with your bemoaning a “cooler” time seen in this city. Cat remembers the heyday of ancient Egypt when my feline brethren were given their proper due. Alas, times change. Cat suspects that yes, you are just getting old. Each generation has their chance to be young and hip, and eventually that generation gets old and crotchety and laments the cruel passage of time. Cat advises human to not get stuck in the past.
Caturday Contemplations:
This week Cat was asked by a devoted reader how to get away with the purr-fect crime. Cat finds the assumption a-paw-ling! Sure, cats may have been unjustly accused of stealing the breath from an infant or two in the 18th century, and maybe certain felines of Victoria Grove might have helped themselves to a winter vest or string of Woolworth pearls… but that doesn’t mean Cat is willing to aid and abet in your caper! Cat maintains innocence and implores humans: Let’s take a paws and think before we make assumptions. And don’t forget to cover your paw prints 🐾 🐾