Cat would just love to tell you what you’re doing wrong and how to fix it. Reach out anonymously here or e-mail askacat@alaskalandmine.com. Are you missing something in your life? Is that thing an Ask a Cat sticker? You can send Cat a request and they will consider sending you one. If they feel like it.
Dear Cat,
Am I an evil person if I enjoy the suffering of someone else?
Dear Human,
Welp, it’s not great. Cat is a bit disturbed, but will do their best to withhold judgement and ponder your question. You don’t give Cat much context, but hopefully this suffering of another person is low grade. Cat thinks it is possible that you are just a mildly emotionally underdeveloped human who is deriving enjoyment from watching someone you dislike have a tough go of things. It is certainly a bit more morally questionable and unethical to actively derive pleasure from suffering you have inflicted yourself.
If we look at the big picture, Cat thinks it is a pretty normal emotion to enjoy when someone who is a pain in the tail spills their coffee or loses out on a promotion at work. A little light schadenfreude is part of the human experience. If you find yourself going out of your way to exact revenge, inflict pain, or generally cause mayhem for another human, Cat thinks you may be a scooch evil. We’re all prone to passing feelings of epicaricacy on occasion; the best way to redirect this is to focus on developing empathy. Next time you catch yourself gleaning joy from someone else’s misfortune, actively consider how you would feel if your places were reversed. This seems elementary, but humor Cat and give it a try. If you find it impossible to empathize, purrhaps consult a licensed mental health care professional to guide you.
Dear Cat,
My marriage was the biggest mistake of my life. The good news is that the divorce is finally done and I am free from my ex-husband. How can I stop fixating on this and move on? I have pretty supportive parents and friends that I didn’t “lose” in the divorce, but I spend a lot of time thinking about what I should have done with my life and what I could have accomplished if I didn’t get married young and waste that time.
Dear Human,
Let’s reframe this: your marriage was the biggest mistake of your life…so far.
Stick with me:
A bigger mistake would be allowing your starter-marriage to negatively dictate how you go forward and create a new life for yourself. While Cat believes it’s important to give space to process and grieve something like the end of a relationship, it’s also important to establish new narratives about what you believe about yourself and your future potential.
It sounds to Cat like you are nearing the end of the point in your life where you want to identify as newly divorced and bitter about the past. Here’s the thing: we can’t change the past.
I wonder if you have given paws to look back and be grateful for how far you’ve come. You managed to remove yourself from an unhappy marriage AND maintain healthy relationships with your family and friends. That is more than many humans Cat knows. Although you may not like how your path unfolded, in some way Cat suggests you have found yourself in exactly the place you intended to be. Intentionally tell yourself a new story each day and go live your (new) life.
Dear Cat,
What’s with all the vegan specials in town this month? I want real food.
Dear Human,
You ask as if Cat was consulted on this matter. I assure you, I was not. With even the mildest of Googling with my capable little paws, I report to you that apparently February has been “Vegan Chef Challenge Month” as sponsored by “Vegan Outreach in collaboration with Anchorage Vegfest.” I must say, I do share your obvious displeasure with meatless options.
As Cat is decidedly carnivorous, I don’t see the joy in steak-shaped tofu. I much prefer a freshly braised vole or purrhaps a poached chickadee. Before Cat evokes the wrath of the local veggies, I will say I am a champion of ethical and responsible meat consumption. I do encourage my readers to eschew highly processed and factory-farmed meat products in favor of sustainable and (if possible) locally sourced animal proteins. As it were, purrhaps we can look forward to “meaty-March” as vegan-February will soon pass us by.
Cat-tharsis:
As we embrace this fool’s spring and skitter into March, how are you progressing in the new year? Are you still hung up on an old narrative? Bemoaning the mistakes of the past? Cat implores you to embrace your feelings and move in a paws-itive direction.🐾