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We Build Alaska

Ask a Cat: Relationships, a potential world war, and summer bods

Ask a cat is an advice column featured in the Alaska Landmine. Have a question for the Cat? Email or click here to submit via a form (anonymous) to get the answers to any of life’s problems.

Dear Cat,

I am currently dating this guy who I consider to be a friend more than a boyfriend and I am starting to find signs that I am interested in someone else other than him. However, if I were to break up with my current boyfriend and go back to being friends with him instead, all of the other people aware of the relationship will put the both of us down. What should I do?

Dear Human,

Cat thinks there are a lot of assumptions being made in this situation. Cat also assumes you are a sweet summer kitten if you are so very concerned about what others will think of you. Please immediately place that at the bottom of your priority list. Your first order of business is to forget the other man and turn your focus towards your current relationship. Explore the motivations for staying in this partnership that you basically describe as platonic. While Cat believes it’s important that relationships have a strong foundation of friendship, there is a reason you humans don’t just date your friends. A romantic relationship requires a bit more. Purrhaps you have become complacent, or maybe there is an element of fear when it comes to shaking things up.

Assuming you are not a terrible person, Cat believes you deserve a partnership that encompasses both strong emotional and romantic bonds. It is probably time to gracefully move on from your current relationship. At which time, you may discover your new interest was just a distraction. Tread your paws very carefully when it comes to jumping into a new relationship right away. On a final note, to circle back to your concern about converting your boyfriend in to a friend, you may find this is not something he is interested in, and you will need to respect that.


Dear Cat,

I have five fantastic felines at home so my life is full of joy and kitty love, but I do worry about their future happiness. With all the stupid things humans worry about and obsess over these days, as a wise perceptive cat, in your lifetime do you think we’ll see WWIII?

Dear Human,

Cat agrees that humans are terribly concerned over puzzling things. I also applaud you for providing a loving home for your five fantastic felines and thank you for your services to Cat-kind. Cat will remember this when the Catpocalypse comes. When it comes to speculating about what sort of shenanigans the humans will get up to, Cat finds that one can never really know. Human behavior, especially in groups or in the name of politics, is so bewildering to this Cat. Could WWIII start in this lifetime? Purrhaps. Could natural disasters brought on by human complacency destroy life as we know it? Maybe. Could the collective cats of the world, both domestic and wild band together and form some sort of Catarchy, thus removing the human element of control and putting it in to more capable paws? Well, I’ve already said too much.

I digress. Cat reminds human that we are not really given anything other than the current moment. In this manifestation of life, one never really knows what will happen hour to hour, much less days down the line. Cat encourages you to focus on the cat-loving home you have created, and if possible, let the future take care of itself.


Dear Cat,

I guess I thought spring would never come. I’m not exactly ready for my hot boy summer and the dating scene. I’m feeling pretty out of shape this year and its messing with my confidence. Should I just push really hard to get in shape or embrace my dad-bod this year? 

Dear Human,

You are in good company. Cats and Humans alike are delighted and startled to find the snow is actually on the way out after severely overstaying its welcome.

I will say, one of the many things cats seem to have figured out lightyears before humans is that one can be thoroughly loved and adored regardless of shape and size. Who amongst us would eschew with a firm paw a delightfully tubby tabby? No one. Same goes for confidence – one never meets a beefy British Short Hair lacking in self-esteem. Cat advises you to forgo extreme measures with regard to your physique; they are unlikely to last and your metabolism will not appreciate your radical efforts. It sounds as though you are more active in the summer anyway, so Cat recommends allowing your seasonal adventures to dictate your shape. You may be a bit more fluffy than you’d prefer going in to summer, but as Cat has suggested, purrhaps this just means there is more of you to love.


Musings from the cat tree

This week Cat encourages all of the humans to rest in the idea of not having a plan. We cannot know the future. Whether war breaks out,  if a relationship works or falls apart, or if cats will seize control of the government. Embrace each moment and hold with an open paw the prospect of the future. 🐾

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