Ask a cat is an advice column featured in the Alaska Landmine. The new year is upon us! Do you have a question for the Cat? You can submit anonymously here or e-mail askacat@alaskalandmine.com and the Cat will do their best to guide/judge you.

Dear Cat,

Sorry if you’ve heard this before, but I hate new years. For the last like five years it has started with being alone as the ball drops and follows with a bunch of unfulfilled resolutions that I completely blow off by the end of the month. How can I make this year suck less?

Dear Human,

To some degree, Cat encourages you to quit your whining. I’ll start by reminding you that you are not obligated to celebrate the new year in any purrticular way. Now that we’ve established that, it sounds like you do want to make good use of what you humans consider to be an annual fresh start. As the holiday really starts the night before with festivities, Cat encourages you to look at what you prioritize. Are you happiest out and about with friends? Do you even have friends? A short-lived midnight kiss may not be as fulfilling as making memories with your buddies.

If you want to partake in merrymaking but don’t have any romantic prospects, slate this as a time to connect with people you care about. If a party isn’t your jam, maybe resolving to get an excellent night’s sleep to ring in the new year is more your style. Treat yourself to a nice meal and an early bedtime. Once you wake up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, reassess how important resolutions actually are to you.

It sounds to Cat like you are setting yourself up for failure with goals that don’t align with your values. This year, try very small achievable goals and put short time limits on them. You could resolve to clean out your closet by the end of January, or text two friends you have been out of touch with by February. Achieving small goals regularly will repair your crummy attitude towards the previous year’s lofty aspirations and subsequent failures. 

Dear Cat,

I really thought I was getting a proposal for Christmas, but instead my boyfriend got me a pair of earrings and a desk lamp. I’m at a loss as to what to do about this, I didn’t even ask for a lamp. He definitely knows I’m upset but I also don’t want to hurt his feelings, what am I supposed to say to him? This feels like a joke.

Sincerely, Disappointed Lady

Dear Human Lady,

Cat has many thoughts on this topic. First, Cat suspects there is very little chance this is an actual joke. However, If you meant it feels like a joke in the bitter/cosmic sense, you are purrhaps right. Here’s the thing, Lady, from what Cat has gathered over the last year human men are about as inclined to enter into the commitment of marriage as I am to become a vegetarian. Cat can’t quite put a paw on it, but it seems to be that they either think there’s something better out there, or that their lives are more enriched sans marriage. Purrhaps the collective human ladies of the planet have weathered such dismally low expectations for so long, the men are just getting away with it.

Here’s what it comes down to: All human adults are fundamentally welcome to pursue whatever consenting relationship with another adult human that they so desire. While there does seem to be a disconnect between you and your partner (lamp vs. engagement ring) you are both free to move on if your expectations aren’t being met. Cat encourages you to talk to your partner. You may as well let him know you were hoping for something more than a desk accessory this Christmas. At the very least, you two owe each other open communication. If marriage is more important to you than staying with this partner, then you need to make sure that is very clear to him. If you are merely disappointed in his choice of presents, acquiesce to making him a list, or find a partner that cares to know you well enough to get you a thoughtful gift. 

Dear Cat,

My brother wants to borrow $3,000 from me to pay off a credit card. I’m doing well financially and I would be fine to not have that money in my account, but I don’t know if this is a good idea. I’ve never lent him money before, but he is kind of unstable right now and hasn’t worked steadily the last year. I don’t want to complicate things between us. Should I lend him the money?

Dear Human,

Cat thinks you should only loan your brother money if you are completely at peace with the prospect of not ever getting those funds back. While Cat is not suggesting that you should outright gift the money to him, do go into it knowing there is a possibility you won’t see that cash again. I am not saying there is no chance your brother will repay you, but if your concern is “complicating” your relationship, the fastest path to that is to introduce money into the equation.

The tricky thing about lending money to another human (especially a family member) is that it does not give you license to dictate how they manage their funds. This means that even if your brother has not repaid you after your loan, you don’t get to tell him he can’t go out to dinner or buy new clothes. If you do decide to lend him the money, you can write down the terms of repayment and do your best to set clear expectations. It’s possible he will be responsible about repayment and no issues will arise.

In the end, there is no guarantee how this will turn out, so the best you can do is go into the situation verbalizing all your concerns and expectations.

Happy Mew Year!

In 2024 Cat resolves to master the art of napping, hone my bird-watching skills, and of course to advise the hapless humans who so desperately need my wisdom🐾