Ask a cat is an advice column featured in the Alaska Landmine. Have a question for the Cat? Email askacat@alaskalandmine.com or click here to submit via a form (anonymous) to get the answers to any of life’s problems.

Dear Cat,

Last weekend I fulfilled a dream of mine by going to Chicago to see a Taylor Swift concert. This week, I’m back to my regular life. How am I supposed to cope with everyday life when I’ve just had the most magical experience ever? How am I supposed to do paperwork at my desk and go to the grocery store when just a week ago I had a soul-transforming brain-enlightening experience of a lifetime? I’m having trouble acclimating to the lack of magic in my “real” life.

Dear Human,

Sorrows and prayers to you, human. Cat considers themself a Swiftie, so I can appreciate the pawsitively monumental let down that is real life after such an experience. Cat believes that the highs in life are meant to be just that – peak points of memory-creating excitement. Rarified and magical experiences such as this would not be as special if our day-to-day routines were just as spectacular. On the other hand, Cat suggests that you start planning your next big adventure. While everyday can’t be a Taylor Swift concert, each passing day can be a day closer to your next soul-transforming occasion.

Dear Cat,

I don’t have any kids, but I do have a dog that I consider my child. I don’t care if anyone else thinks a dog is as important/as much work as a kid, it’s my life. The other day I had my brother and his family over for dinner and I caught my nephew tormenting my dog and chasing him with a stick. My dog was clearly not having fun. I don’t want this kid at my house anymore until he can learn some respect. I strongly believe that there’s a correlation between kids that are mean to animals and those that grow up to be serial killers. How am I supposed to tell my brother his evil spawn isn’t welcome anymore?

Dear Human,

While Cat isn’t particularly fond of dogs or children, I can certainly appreciate your hierarchy of importance when it comes to your precious poodle vs. a tormenting tot. Cat finds children particularly untrainable and inexplicably sticky. Cat thinks your best course of action is to appeal to your brother. It is not your job to police this child, but it is your job to keep your dog safe. Purrhaps you can suggest activities that take place at your brother’s house or at another location. You are not obligated to host at your house. If your brother is receptive to training his little terror to be kind to animals, and you are feeling generous, you might consider supervised visits until (and if) you are able to trust this youth. As to your suspicion regarding children that are unkind to animals turning out to be serial killers, well, Cat doesn’t necessarily disagree. Be wary.

Dear Cat,

How do I get over an “irrational” fear? My coworkers think its hilarious that I am deathly afraid of seeing other peoples’ feet. They put pictures on my desk and will casually Teams me foot pics just to freak me out.

Dear Human,

Cat wonders what exactly the root of your irrational fear of feet is. Granted, a human foot is a nightmare compared to the elegance of a cat’s paw, but it is still generally not something that is known to illicit fear. I suspect your distaste for feet has been exacerbated by your coworkers going out of their way to be childish and torment you. Assuming feet likely pose no clear and present danger to you, Cat recommends two things. If your coworkers won’t knock it off, let your manager know and unburden yourself from having to address it alone. Additionally, seek out a mental health professional to help you rid yourself of the nuisance that is a fear that does not serve a purpose. Sometimes a fear can guard us from harm, and sometimes it is simply a learned association that doesn’t actually threaten our safety. Cat is not suggesting you must develop an affinity for feet, but rather that you learn to cope for your own sake.

Cat Counsel:

This week Cat reminds you to treat others as you would like to be treated. After all, In the words of Taylor Swift, karma is a cat. 🐾