Have a burning question for the Cat? Want your own artisanal Ask a Cat sticker for your Stanley or growler? The Cat will oblige. Submit your questions for the Cat anonymously here or e-mail askacat@alaskalandmine.com.

Dear Cat,

OK CAT, since you are in and around politics in the swamp (oops, the capital) have they (the politicians) discussed at all banning geo-engineering in Alaska? Maybe we can follow Texas and New Hampshire….

“The Clean Atmosphere Preservation Act was introduced in New Hampshire: an act prohibiting the intentional release of polluting emissions, including cloud seeding, weather modification, excessive electromagnetic radio frequency, and microwave radiation and making penalties for violation of such prohibition.”

OK, HUMAN,

First, Cat does not appreciate your tone. Kindly cool your jets. Second, some very dim humans still seem to be laboring under the impression that Cat is Jeff Landfield. Cat assures you, this is not the case. Landfield has a very distinct energy, and it is not of the Cat variety. Third, why are you asking a Cat about geo-engineering? 

Sigh. 

Despite all these elements, Cat will do their best to answer your question. 

It is worth noting that geoengineering is an entire field of work and study, it involves complex scientific, environmental, and ethical considerations. Cat would like to think that any wide scale implementation of new geoengineering efforts in Alaska would be subject to input by scientists, environmentalists, policymakers, a variety of feline stakeholders, and the general public. As to if Alaska plans to craft policies similar to that of Texas and New Hampshire, Cat has no clue. Purrhaps you could contact your local representatives with your inquiry and concerns. 

Dear Cat,

I have a new manager and things are really deteriorating around the office. This is the first time in my life I have had a complete lack of respect for the person I report to. He has no higher education, no people skills, and all his ideas are lacking in creativity and logic. I’m just trying to put my head down and do my job, this office doesn’t even really need a manager to function. Unfortunately, this person probably isn’t going anywhere. I’ll just say he got the job in a way that pretty much protects him from having to make an effort to keep it. At best, this makes my day-to-day job less fun. At worst, I daydream about hitting him with my car just to shut him up. Cat, how should I manage this manager?

Dear Human,

Tempting as it may be, Cat encourages you to pump the breaks and first exhaust all other options that don’t involve jail time. If all else fails, I promise we can come back to it. Dealing with a manager that is essentially pointless is obviously a very annoying obstacle. Despite your feelings towards this lump of a human, Cat encourages you to do your best to maintain professionalism.

You seem convinced that this person is not going anywhere anytime soon, and you make no indication that you intend to look for work elsewhere. It is in your best interest to be careful about how you communicate with your manager. Because they seem prone to idiocy, Cat recommends having things in writing in order to avoid mishaps. If your manager says something rude, unethical, or just particularly dumb, you can always send a quick email that says (for example), “I would like to follow up and confirm that this morning you said that Mayor Bronson has done an excellent job with snow removal this winter and to check and see if you needed me to take any action on the matter.” Cat doubts Manager will catch on to your thorough documentation, and at least you’ll have a record at your disposal.

In addition to over-communicating, Cat encourages you to seek the support of your coworkers. You may not be able to bond with or enjoy your manager, but hopefully you can cultivate camaraderie amongst the coworkers that you actually like and respect. Focusing more on the positive will give you a stronger foundation in your job and maybe even an alibi should you choose to resort to vehicular manslaughter. Best of luck!

Dear Cat,

I am a fellow feline who is moving to Alaska from Washington state this winter. I was born wild, in the little-known WA town of Onalaska and was adopted a year later by a lovely couple who have quickly made me appreciate the comforts of indoor life. I still love the outdoors and appreciate excursions to the park and time to roam in the garden but am glad to have my meals ready-made and a cozy place to curl up away from the elements. In anticipation of relocating to Alaska, first in Juneau and later to Anchorage, I thought it might be pertinent to ask an Alaskan cat such as yourself how to best prepare for my new home – am I naive to think that my comfortable life will change very little – or are there some unforeseen pitfalls that I might be unaware of as I make my way Northward?

Yours in felinehood,

Huckleberry

Dear Huckleberry,

Let me be the first to extend a welcoming paw. I suspect you’ll have many adventures to look forward to as you move north. Cat thinks that so long as your humans keep up their diligent care, your quality of life will remain the same. To avoid an uncomfortable transition, there are a few things to keep in mind about your new home. For the most part, the climate of Anchorage and Juneau are comparable. Both cities will likely be chillier in general than what you’ve experienced in Washington but will still provide plenty of tolerable temperatures for supervised outdoor jaunts. Cat thinks you’ll come to enjoy the local flora and fauna; just be mindful not to get mixed up with an eagle or cross paths with a moose.

Unfortunately, the local Audubon is not currently accepting cats as members (the politics are complicated) but Cat thinks that you’ll have ample bird watching opportunities from the comfort of your own windowsill. As much as Cat hates a trip to the vet, I do recommend that upon arriving your humans establish you with a local clinic. Anchorage is notorious for not having quite enough providers, so it’s best to be established before you’re in need. Cat certainly hopes you find the Last Frontier hospitable.

Cat Chat:

Today Cat finds themselves once again pondering the concept of tolerance. On one paw, purrhaps it is most important to foster understanding, respect, and peaceful coexistence; on the other paw, do not develop so much tolerance that you tolerate fools and lose self-respect. 🐾