Is your mood falling with the leaves? Love life conundrums? For all the advice you seek, e-mail askacat@alaskalandmine.com or send a message anonymously here.

Dear Cat,

I’m fairly certain that my friend’s girlfriend stole my wife’s ring from our home – and I don’t know how to react. I recently moved into a new house which needed some repairs in the kitchen. Luckily, I have a good friend who is a capable contractor who had the time to assist (time for which I paid him his usual service cost). While my wife and I were away for the day running errands and going on a hike, my friend conducted the repairs. When we got back we met him (and his girlfriend) at our house, apparently she had been just kind of hanging out there all day while he worked – sleeping on the couch and scrolling on her phone.

A day later the ring in question was not located in its usual spot and continues to be missing. Though my wife ordinarily wears the ring throughout the work week, it goes into a small jewelry box on weekends. Nothing else is missing – and the ring has not since been located despite my wife’s desperate searches. She is very organized, and I don’t doubt her insistence that she remembers putting the ring into the box as she usually does.

Do I bring this up to my friend? What if we are wrong and the ring is somehow found? I don’t like to assume the worst in people, but this chick is broke and totally dependent on my friend… Also, the ick feeling of being violated in our new home by what amounts to its first guests is weighing on me. I trust my friend completely, we have been like brothers, but as long as he is with this girl. I don’t think we can hang out which saddens me. Please cat, lend me your wisdom.

Dear Human,

Proceed with caution. You’ll need to strike a fine balance between being brutally honest with your friend, but also being open-minded to other paw-sibilities. Cat suggests planning some one-on-one time with your friend. Avoid sending a text or making a call because Girlfriend may be right over his shoulder. Approach the topic carefully but honestly. Let your friend know what you told me – you’ve struggled with how and even if to bring it up, and that you’re concerned the ring might have been stolen.

You say you were gone the whole day and that your friend was working on the house. Is it possible he had any other crew members helping on the project? Are you 100% sure no one else had access to your space? Has your wife thoroughly searched her laundry/car/gym bag/ etc.? Tell your friend you have exhausted all these avenues, genuinely ask him for his help in how he thinks you should navigate the situation.

If this girlfriend is new in his life, it’s important for him to have this information so he can assess if this changes how he feels about her. There is very little chance this will all be resolved with no hurt feelings, but not saying anything will build resentment and mistrust. Cat sincerely hopes that the ring was simply misplaced in the fray of home projects being conducted in what you refer to as your new home, and will soon be recovered. The reality is you will probably never know exactly what happened to the ring. You’ll have to decide for yourself after you discuss this with your friend how you want to proceed with the friendship and what kind of boundaries you’ll need to establish in your new home.

Dear Cat,

Who would win in a fight, a grizzly bear or a silverback gorilla?

Dear Human,

You humans are pawsitively obsessed with violence. Personally, I prefer to assert my dominance by making meaningful eye contact with my human as I unceremoniously shove their water glass off the countertop. I digress.

On one paw, the grizzly has size, strength, and claws. The silverback has absurdly powerful arms and cunning agility. Do grizzly bears venture into Africa? Not in this century. Are there Gorillas roaming outside of Africa? Not beyond the confines of a zoo. Cat reckons these two titans of the animal kingdom were never intended to meet. In the off chance that they ever did, Cat can’t say for sure if they would even have violent tendencies toward one another. Cat likes to think that in that encounter, the beasts would realize fighting was an unnecessary expenditure of energy act like sensible creatures (unlike humans.)

Dear Cat,

Lots of young Alaskans are leaving the state including many people I know. People used to want to move here but now they just want to leave. Nothing seems to be going right here. Are we doomed?

Dear Human,

One week Cat hears complaints that too many people are crowding our beloved state, the next week too many people are leaving. Is it possible some people are just uncomfortable with change? Although Alaska may not be the magnet it used to be, Cat suspects there will always be a few in every generation that seek the Last Frontier.

Yes, some people stay, some people go- occasionally humans leave and come back. Alaska requires its residents to have a certain level of resiliency and often to weather a bit of isolation. The ebb and flow of our population is as natural as the tides. Doom is a very strong word. What is it you think your home state is missing out on? Purrhaps it’s a void you can seek to fill yourself.  

Paws for thought:

Approach concerns with openness, be prepared to embrace change, and don’t start an unnecessary fight.🐾

Featured Feline:

Meet Black beans and Rice, looking fang-tastic in his seasonal best.