Ask a cat is an advice column featured in the Alaska Landmine. Have a question for the Cat? Email askacat@alaskalandmine.com or click here to submit via a form (anonymous) to get the answers to any of life’s problems.
Dear Cat,
So many of the people I work with are idiots. My company has a program where they funnel youth into all the secretarial positions, they are all pretty young kids (18 – early 20’s) and something like 75% of them are awful. If they even bother to show up to work, they just seem to make it harder for people that are actually in higher up positions (our accountants, IT dept. etc.) Some days my job would actually be easier if they weren’t around. The problem is, the management gets defensive when anyone points out issues. What should I do, Cat?
Dear Human,
Nothing like corporate coddling of incompetence (of the youth, no less!) Cat supposes it depends on what kind of position you hold in this company. If you are higher up, you may wield some influence in changing how the kittens are wrangled. Although Cat suspects this is not technically in your job description, it sounds like those in power are disinclined to make changes. Cats’ only advice is to simply ask for what you want. Be direct with the youths and tell them clearly and simply what you need. Complaining is fun, but Cat wonders if you are also voicing your concerns directly to the support staff.
Often humans flounder when the expectations are low. Recruit your coworkers to start asking more of the youth in a direct way. If you get it in writing, all the better. If you send an email to the young crew and say “I need all of Wednesday’s files copied by Thursday” and that task is not complete, then you have a written record to hand off to management. Cat says collect data, and make your needs known.
Dear Cat,
I am exhausted. I am so tired of trying to date the men in this town. The small talk, the same dumb stories during every first date. I feel like I am draining myself, but I also really want to be in a relationship. How am I supposed to find “the one.”
Dear Human,
Sigh. Every week Cat hears from disheartened locals fed up with the murky dating pool that is Alaska. Cat can really only encourage you to do one thing, and that is to focus on yourself. Does Cat know this is cliché? Yes. Does Cat care? No. It’s oft repeated because it has value. Go out and be the best version of yourself. Having a partner will not complete you. It’s purrfectly normal to desire a partner, but putting that whiff of desperation out into the universe is not going to serve you in any way. Will someone great come along eventually? Probably. Will it be any time soon? Cat doesn’t really know. Regardless, the most long-term relationship you will ever be in is the one with yourself.
You can’t control who comes into your life or when a partner will cross your path, but you can control how many activities you do that you love, how much time you spend with your friends and family, and how much effort you put into developing your career and interests. The reason you are exhausted is because you have scattered your efforts all over town to unworthy targets. Call that energy back to your own little paws and move forward from there.
Dear Cat,
I’m trying to repair my reputation at work. I’m a single guy and for one reason or another I have now dated two of my female coworkers. The first time it didn’t end that great, but she had already planned on leaving the state and it wasn’t too weird when it ended because she was out of the picture at work. I started dating someone in the same department and it recently came to light that I had (once) hooked up with a girl I met on a guy’s night out. At this point neither of us are planning on leaving our jobs anytime soon, but I know most of the people we work with know what went down because she was really upset when she found out about the cheating and didn’t hesitate to share. Now I feel like my coworkers are treating me like the scum of the earth and it’s making my job infinitely more difficult. I feel like yeah, I did something stupid, but should this also make my job more difficult?
Dear Human,
I hope you were not writing Cat anticipating coddling and comfort. You chose to date a coworker; therefore, you chose to make your personal life part of your work life. Should your ex-girlfriend have shared the details with your coworkers? Debatable. Should you have cheated on your partner? No. Shitty behavior certainly occurs on a spectrum, and in the grand scheme of nefarious behavior, yours was the greater of two evils.
Since you can’t go back and time and not cheat or prevent her from sharing your misdeeds with coworkers, you’ll just have to move forward from here.
A reputation can be ruined in a day, and it can take years to rebuild. Cat thinks your best bet is to make some apologies and keep your head down. If a coworker treats you with obvious disdain for your misdeeds, your best bet is to express (hopefully) genuine regret, but to reiterate that you want to focus on your work and you hope they can afford you the opportunity do so. Certainly your coworkers do not owe you their friendship, but despite your philandering, they do owe you some semblance of professionalism so you can accomplish the tasks required of your job.
Cat hopes this incident gives you paws and that in the future you heed the hard lessons learned from this experience.
Cat Chat:
This week Cat encourages the collective humans of Alaska to strive for progress, not purrfection. It may take month or years to find the right partner or to repair a reputation, so just put one paw in front of the other and be content to amble in the right direction. 🐾