Welcome to this week’s edition of The Alaska Stalker, a lighthearted round up of the best and worst of Alaska’s social media landscape.

As we get closer to election day the odds are good, but the goods… make our column really long. A big thank you to our loyal readers for sticking with us. Have you sent us a tip yet? Email the goods to akstalker@alaskalandmine.com and, as always, thanks for reading.

Before we begin, let’s take a moment to reflect back. On simpler times…

The state primary election is this Tuesday, and drama is reaching critical levels. District 20 has a highly contentious Democratic primary featuring three candidates. As you can see from this photo Assembly member Christopher Constant shared, it could be anyone’s game.

I just wish there was a way to know who retiring Representative Les Gara is supporting. (Note to Les Gara: this is a joke. Thanks for reading!)

Did you see the Alaska Landmine’s most recent video profiling the District 26 Republican primary race? Check it out here. The District 26 Alaska Republican Party Facebook page shared the video and tagged candidates Albert Fogle and Laddie Shaw. I’m not sure if they purposely didn’t tag Joe Riggs, or if he removed the tag himself. But, since Joe cancelled on us (twice!) I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the latter.

A shame because I would have loved to hear more about this group, Veterans for Alaska, that supports Joe. Oddly, I can’t seem to find any information about them online. And isn’t a paid for by supposed to have an address listed?

And then there’s District 22. Former Representative Liz Vazquez is trying to take back the seat she lost to Representative Jason Grenn in 2016. She posted this “report card” contrasting her to the other two relevant candidates (Sorry Dustin). People had a good laugh over the fact that Liz assigned Sara a C- but neglected to give herself an A+.

On that note, the Stalker gives Liz an A+ for posting fake news. Look what she posted to her campaign Facebook page last week. It’s still up, even after someone told her it was fake. 

Sara Rasmussen then posted her own candidate comparison, which she quickly deleted from Facebook, attacking Liz’s age, residency, and the fact that she already lost the seat. We see one big issue: Sara, the quote is accurate, but FYI I’m a former constituent! ???

For someone that’s just starting out her political career, Sara’s being attacked pretty hard over the strangest things. Besides that bizarre APE piece, and at least two fake Facebook profiles that constantly attack her, here’s a gem from the Swenson Family Member Blog. Someone needs to learn the difference between Rasmussen and Rasmuson. In Alaska this matters bigly.

As you may have heard via the Landmine’s Facebook Live, gubernatorial candidate, Mike Dunleavy, held his campaign HQ grand opening over the weekend. If you look in the comments, it sounds like some of his supporters are “very fine people.” ?

Note: we’re pretty sure that guy’s a troll. Here’s a photo of Mike with somebaby who actually attended the event. Is she sporting a Dunleavy for Governor sticker?! Adorable. Don’t forget to read to the end for some breaking baby news!

After careful thought and consideration, gubernatorial candidate, Mead Treadwell, has decided to endorse himself. Sounds about right for Mead. 

A high level politico sent us this Google ad for candidate for house, Cliff Groh, seen on www.poopsenders.com, a website that sends poop to your enemies in the mail, anonymously. I mean, we know Juneau is full of crap, but this takes things to the next level! ???

Have you downloaded your “Edie Grunwald for Lt. Governor screen saver” yet? Please reach out to PR guru Tom Anderson for this cutting edge technology.

It looks like Facebook’s facial recognition is confusing everyone’s favorite Alaskan for a Sustainable Budget with Congressman Don Young. Brad doesn’t even have a beard!

There are a lot of reasons to vote for Congressional candidate, Alyse Galvin. I think her penchant for dual wielding of finger guns when listening to voters is one of the best reasons. ?

Speaking of Alyse, her finger guns might be on point, but her table tennis skills need some work. Looks like her opponent, Dimitri Shein, might have edged her out in a high energy table tennis match (in lieu of a coin flip) to decide who spoke first at last night’s debate, brought to you by THE ANCHORAGE PRESS and the Democratic Party. Is that good enough Anchorage Press?

As for Dimitri… Looks like he also takes his ice cream with TWO SCOOPS! He might have more in common with POTUS than he thinks. A shame because at last night’s debate he answered “yes” to the question “will you vote to impeach [President] Donald Trump?” Can we get Alyse or Congressman Young on the record regarding homemade marshmallow fluff?

Candidate for House, Danyelle Kimp, has an interesting ad out. Is he a triplet? And what’s going on with his HANDS?! Is someone channeling Les Grossman?

We can’t believe we missed this one. Candidate for House, Josh Revak, helps a Veteran who was a victim of theft and vandalism patch his truck’s window. Bonus points for the creative marketing!

We’re happy to hear some candidates are avoiding the sign wars of 2018. Some folks aren’t so lucky.

We have an edit for candidate for House, Ross Bieling: Over 100 stolen, 3 carved up, and at least 1 turned into fire wood. ???

For those of you who might be new around these parts, just a friendly reminder it’s Alaska Landmine policy to never apologize, and our offical style guide is Urban Dictionary. Don’t worry folks: we ran this one past our resident sensitivity consultant. He said, “I’d check that box.”

?

Welcome to a new Alaska Stalker special feature titled: How much did that cost? An examination of frivolous and costly campaign expenditures. Inspired by the dumbest campaign expenditure of all time, Jeff Landfield for State Senate 2016 “Boris and Natasha” wooden coins. I still don’t get it. 

First up is candidate for House, Marcus Sanders, who purchased an actual plushy house as a campaign mascot. How much did THAT set you back, Marcus? ?

Is that a Sam Elliott (you know, the famous actor and narrator from The Big Lebowski) cameo and voice-over in candidate for Lt. Governor, Col. Edie Grunwald’s campaign ad? How utterly bizarre. And probably expensive. ???

Okay everyone… We need to talk about Edie. This was sent to us by someone we trust. It was only up for a couple minutes, but enough time for someone to screen cap it and send it our way. It’s no secret that Col. Grunwald was not a fan of the Landmine’s more recent piece on her. How did this happen? The only thing we can think of is that she was trying to send this photo of Jeff to someone and, somehow, accidentally changed her profile pic instead? Yikes. Lt. Governor is an important job: second in command of our state and in charge of our elections. Not sure this gives me much confidence. Note: we’re still waiting for a comment Amanda…

The end of an era indeed. Side Street Espresso bids farewell to the Buddah that had been a fixture of the downtown coffee shop for almost a decade. This will take some getting used to.

And now for some personal news. The Stalker family is thrilled to report another set of eyes and ears will be joining our family in early 2019. Just in time for the legislative session to begin. I bet several legislators are hoping the Alaska Landmine provides a generous and lengthy paid family leave package.

Spotted in the air:

Governor Bill Walker, Lt. Governor Byron Mallott, Gubernatorial candidate Senator Mark Begich, and candidates for Lt. Governor, Kevin Meyer and Lynn Gattis, on a RAVN flight from Homer to Anchorage after yet another debate.

Spotted at Bear Tooth:

Representative Jason Grenn seeing the Mr. Rogers documentary and Representative Andy Josephson seeing Ocean’s 8.

Representative Grenn was also spotted at Steam Dot, frequently going out into the hallway to take several high level calls. Representative Gabrielle LeDoux was there, too. Don’t get excited everyone – they weren’t together.

Spotted at the Democratic congressional debate:

All lot of well know Democrats including: Jay Parmley, Casey Steinau, Hannah Frost, Elstun Lauesen, and many more.

And weirdly, Republican candidates for House and Congress, Anthony Lekanof and John Nelson.

Overheard at last night’s Anchorage Assembly meeting (re: the plastic bag ban discussion and public testimony):

Our favorite Assemblywoman, Amy Demboski, bemoaning, “I’m in a liberal hell!”

Assembly member Chris Constant caught on a hot mike saying, “This is a cluster f**k!” He’s not wrong.

Overheard at last night’s Democratic congressional debate:

“Welcome to Don Young’s retirement party!”

“Not a fan of Galvin at all. I’m voting for the KGB guy.”

Clearly tipsy fan exclaiming to our Editor-In-Chief, “I f**king LOVE the Stalker! Wednesdays! YEAH!” Thanks for reading, and don’t drink and drive!

Overheard on the airwaves:

Senator Mike Shower repeatedly referring to Fish and Game Commissioner, Sam Cotten, as Tom Cotton, a Senator from Arkansas on the Rick Rydell show. It’s okay Mike, now you have something in common with Representative Geran Tarr!

On candidate for Senate, Bekah Halat, “She definitely is a new kind of Republican.”

That will do it for us this week folks. Don’t forget to send your favorite social media and online goofs, gaffs, memes, dust-ups, “Overheard in Alaska,” “Spotted in Alaska,” or whatever else you got to akstalker@alaskalandmine.com Our DMs are always open. Remember: pics or it didn’t happen!